My Opinion On Religion Take 9

My opinion on religion Take 1 I am in the unexpected throes of spring cleaning Suddenly with no warning 7 people are unexpectedly arriving in a few minutes for an Easter lunch. Easter lunch already? Why didn’t anyone mention this at church last Sunday, Palm Sunday? Are some secrets just too good to be shared? My opinion on religion Take 2 Nothing has hurt more people, divided more families, or killed more people than religion. And, please ask the LGBTQ+ community, who has caused them more psychological damage Than churchgoers? My opinion on religion Take 3 As a child, I felt uncomfortable in church, where people laughed at others misfortune Behind paper fans and knowing glances. They made fun of them. They talked about the heathens. Anybody who didn’t believe what they did, was a heathen and would go to hell for it. I had news for them. No one believes exactly like you do, because no one IS you. And I’m not going to hell. My opinion on religion Take 4 When I was ten, two boys my age chased me down on an Easter Sunday after Sunday “school” and threw me into a mud puddle, pretty dress, petticoats and all. Just to make me cry. I did. My mother called their mothers. Mother B said my mother was a liar, this was not her boy. Mother A dragged boy 2 over by a sore ear, and made him stammer, and apologize. Mother B’s son is serving his 47th year in prison this year. Mother A’s son retired several years ago as a four star general. My opinion on religion Take 5 Neither my sister or I can read in public without hyperventilating and stammering, due to a nasty school teacher who barked her idea of correct Biblical pronunciations at us in a mean way every Sunday as she FORCED us to read aloud and the whole class laughed at us, including this “very good” teacher. Happily, we angel-bound souls were encouraged to laugh at them when it was their turns. My opinion on religion Take 6 I used to church shop – Presbyterian, Lutheran, Catholic, Disciples of Christ, Baptist. I have been to all of them, and the best I have found in 32 years of moving is a black church. I was the only pink one there. I had a fine time yelling and screaming, shrieking with laughter sometimes, but never to make fun. Because I felt the Holy Spirit in that church. “We never had anyone cheer before,” the pastor told me, “Until you came along, but we liked it.” I loved that church. Until the service got longer, and longer, and longer. Pretty soon, the minister was so glory-upped in his talking that we were only allowed A 15 minute lunch break, and we had supper at church where we started breakfast. My opinion of church Take 7 During one of my school’s group counseling sessions one of my 8-year-olds told the group that his daddy was the most religious person in their family. This surprised me, as I knew this boy had welts, and secret bruises, which had been hot-line-able due to the angry attitude of dear old Daddy. “How do you know he’s religious?” I asked him. His face brightened right up. “He was so mad at my sister when she got home on Sunday morning, he hit her with the Bible ‘til the cover came off! It flew across the room, and landed next to a Jesus picture.” My opinion of Church Take 8 A superintendent of schools and I got into a heated argument when I begged him and the rest of his Gideons to please stop bringing Bibles to school. “These kids need Bibles!” He argued. The Jewish children? The Native American children? The Middle Eastern children?” “It has to stop!” I told him. “The teachers have made a little list of who’s going to heaven and hell based on which child refused to take it. It’s posted in the teacher’s lounge,” I said. “Come see.” “I know my teachers better than that,” he argued. No, he didn’t. And that is all I have to say about religion.