Moving On

Now I'll withdraw for a moment the question of my feelings, and address the challenge of feeling solitary on that night in February, after he left me. I was deep in the woods walking swiftly in panic, when I lost my way to my own cabin, where only yesterday I would sit to read, or weep long for his arms to embrace me. Deep in my soul I have been so isolated, all my dreams are fading away, it's a heartache, life can be so ruthless, I don't know what to do. Sometimes I want to believe that he will be coming everyday, every night at the cabin, where we can both hide and keep longing for our tomorrows, drift into each other's arms, forget to control our wild love. I have no viable option but let myself dream as my life today is ruled by my emotions, far away from being loved and in love. My yesterdays are like ghostly visions of anger, melancholic, ugliness, waking up afraid, unable to live a normal life or even feel normal. Days are passing by, my soul feels darker than darkness, the clean smell of winter felt tonight like a fall of death. My spirit is breathless, silent less, betrayed, struck several times by you, that stranger overnight with a knife in your hands, stabbing me constantly, till it felt like I bled to death. Moving On. Today waking up, I touched my wounds there was no blood, I ran to the mirror, looked, awake and not bleeding, strange I spoke to myself, I am alive, my soul is rejuvenated, it feels the light, I feel the world, I posses it, I can fly, I am smiling, I feel love, safe, young, walking, even running towards a beautiful destination. Whenever I would link the ability of my subconscious, to overcome my desire, to desire his love, I straight away appreciate my Now. Yet, I still miss him, But I have moved on. Therese Bacha 13 September 1014