Look Back At Me

Well as I hinder my own history Looking back through the lens of the destroyed me Poetry went from an outlook of youth and became a vessel of pain Holding memories I live in to escape my truth Good memories that hurt because they hold choices I could not see then but could have saved me then Hindsight 20/20 I may never wish to see again Looking back further to reoccurring nightmare I had as a Child. My father leaving the car to go into a store being shot And leaving nothing but a bic pen with his face Seems so silly until fast forward and his railroad job kept Him gone and his extra bic laid around to grab when Needed. Or the pen he kept in his fingers to quit smoking as An adult that pen is his most prominent memory so A nightmare or child's premonition Epiphanies abound in the looking back glass You almost catch it the warning in your life The ones your looking back on. But in the past You stop for a second shake it off ignoring yourself Or maybe your wife I know it not this way for everyone But those who lost everything to an accident If they would of stayed home to relax some They still have a job a life and could pay rent You know they still earn an income Instead we are judged as bums with the folks that never left Their parents home Cause if you got nothing to offer People are not in a hurry to learn your situation our Spend time to understand and overcome Nsw let's keep it easy he just a lazy but And with the pandemic came s missed chance to understand All the sudden everyone got a 1000 a month to help Their income And wouldn't you know it wasn't enough they wanted to give Each kid a grand Did they take that time to notice 1600 is most any disabled person might see no cause in that moment they were to freaking stupid to understand irony