Just Live

"Me, I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for." "Nobody texts faster than A pissed off female". "A jealous woman can do better research than the FBI" "Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother sucker's reflection." "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring" "Some people just suck the life right out of you". "Me mature? Ha! I still laugh when the ketchup bottle farts." "A fart is simply a turd honking to pass". "My goal today, is to move only enough to let people know I'm not dead." "Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease". "Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." "Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong." "I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives"