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I Was a Fool

I was a fool by making the first move When I first saw you I was a fool by putting in my all to prove to you Knowing that what we had wasn’t true But I wasn’t a fool when I said I do and was ready to live the rest of my life with you Being with you is true cos you the one I chose but letting you go is good cause without you I can do good...

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Darren White

Date: 3/10/2017 4:18:00 AM

This poem speaks with honesty, and it feels like it was hard to write it down, it has feelings in it. I understand what Charlie says, but I think it is mostly because between the first three stanzas and the last one, there is a change of tone. And a change of language you used. That can be a deliberate choice, or not. But anyway, I understand it :)

Jonathan Smith
Date: 3/11/2017 2:15:00 PM

Thnx Darren....I like it when you comment..... yes it was hard but I believe with this platform I will do better...

Maureen Mcgreavy

Date: 3/6/2017 3:59:00 PM

I really like this poem. It boasts of honesty and growth. I think it is perfect. 7 and a fave ;) xomo

Jonathan Smith
Date: 3/7/2017 2:37:00 AM

yes....thanks Maureen...you the best...

Charlie Gregory

Date: 3/6/2017 2:44:00 PM

I like the first 3 stanzas. But the last stanza confuses me... ie - "because you the one I choose" I would have preferred "because you're the one I chose" Also, I take it that "cause" in the last line is short for "because". If so I would have preferred " 'cause" or " 'cos". But what do I know? And it's your poem to do what you want with.

Jonathan Smith
Date: 3/6/2017 3:04:00 PM

thanks for the comment...I'm hear to learn...I will do just that... Thanks Charlie...

Jonathan Smith
Date: 3/6/2017 2:56:00 PM

thanks for the comment...I'm hear to learn...I will do just that... Thanks Charlie...