I Tried To Buy You Flowers

I tried to buy you lilies but I couldn't see it through, so I ran off to Ann Summers for a naughty toy or two. I tried to buy you orchids but I felt a little shy, so left to buy some Vaseline, and products from KY. I tried to buy you daisies but I came out in a rash, so ran off to the sex shop for a little 'po*no' stash. I tried to buy you roses but I blushed and went bright red, so I rushed off to the chemist for some Durex packs instead. I tried to buy you flowers but I never had much luck. At least I've got the other things, if we want to have a ... flipping good night in. From my book 'A Floristry of Palpitations'