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How did I get this bad?

How did I get this bad? That's all that runs through my mind as a blade comes in contact with my skin. All my happy childhood memories cross my mind as shameful tears pour down my face like a waterfall. I hear my younger self laughing, running around being herself. She used to be so free, Now she's locked up inside me begging and pleading to run wild once more. I've not only locked her up behind the cold steel bars of what's left of my heart, I've also locked myself up, Not letting anyone see my pain, screams for help, and long loud echoes of my strained cries. So I ask again, How did I get this bad?

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Paul Bell

Date: 4/27/2024 4:56:00 AM

When life and responsibility and baggage kick in, life becomes a strain. Maybe time to get back to basics and be the child again.

Karen Jones

Date: 4/27/2024 12:06:00 AM

I feel your angst in this poem and pray for your relief and release from turmoil. To answer your question you are not bad but perhaps your feelings are? You are wonderfully and fearfully made by a creator who is the beginning and end of all things. Do be encouraged and take heart that God has given you a light even in the darkness of your depression in poetry. God can take your heavy heart and lighten it. Take a step towards him and see yourself through the eyes of a loving God for you are loved