Hanging On To Trauma

There is this hypothesis I unjustly and perhaps traumatically just made hard and patriarchally up is not down and retentatively not out soon enough for healthy comings and goings A ridiculous theory that straight homophobic preachers and teachers, prophets and kings, pharaohs and rabbis, old crows and magpies Throughout too rich history seem to have trouble with constipation below and addictive running of the capitalistic mouth above In response to multigenerational fear of back door satanic predation and rabid sexual politics and financial rape. Perhaps there is some cause for Buttenda Party fear of RightWing fascist anger, who knows, this GWM on my best days and most lascivious nights not one to wave my LeftBrain privileged credentials As if worried about my natural-spiritual collateral mind embodied endowments Badly experienced with weaponized capital fat headedism, invasive win/lose patriarchal intent to punish with Old Testament monotheistic judgmental Great White Father predations flagrations disturbing gyrations Hard and erect militarized enforcement corporations seeking a return to peek at peak AnthroSupreme monopolistic mountainous control during non-sabbath business as usual desecrating economic worship on humiliated skinned humbled knees To this day offering well-endowed access to pre-elective filthy rich political communication excavation colonization plunder infestation TopDog v BottomItch and Stretch, more cooperatively in and out communion co-invested sacred gay incentives No Win/Lose partisan BlackHole vacuous chaos and confusion of feelings barred as long as your WhiteSugar Daddy leaves you dripping in white-washed compensations for insufficiently clean and pure endowments From God's rich exclusive grace for Royals and Food Too Rich Governors with Heaven above and Hell below pre-eminently appositional 1Me v (0)ther dispositions of a BlackHole violating intimately sacred acquisition. With regard to StraightMale Rabbis in particular digestive dismay I have this other BothTrauma/AndTherapy hypothesis about chronic paternal empathy administering the britis as it had been delivered by YHWH's AnthroSupreme command to him At infancy, when intimate neurosensory networks were most aggressively developing fast as revved up cancer So, perhaps, for this painful time delivering pleasure down under felt much better and safer as pleasantly compared to flaming pains of upfront boychild Trauma Now revisited each time he sees and hears and smells and touches another holy britis I wonder if BlackHole pleasure becomes chronically anxious as trauma avoidant constipation non-consummation Remembering monopolistic sufficiency concerns about cracking down and out on desires vaguely hard and predative pushing peak relief from repressed suppressed experiences.