Giving Up

Hiding from the outside world trapped inside a world of misery Wearing a happy smile on my face Portraying illusions of laughter for them all to see Silently trembling inside as tears begin to flow Quickly wiping them away So that nobody will ever know My heart battles with my head but, neither one has won Exasperated with mixed emotions Decisions weighing me down either choice I will regret what I’ve done Guilt continues to taunt me as the nightmares proceed A game of tug of war is ripping me slowly into pieces Tearing apart my wounds causing my heart to bleed My zippered lips utter no sound Lost inside a labyrinth of deceit and denial Searching for an escape which will never be found Shame larks right beside me haunting me each night Tossing and turning Losing all strength needed to conquer this fight Remained locked inside cages of sorrow bound by chains of fear Overwhelming emotions bind me A prisoner trapped without means to break away from here Numb to the core and frozen still Trying to run but unable to move No longer able to find the will Failed every time I had gathered the strength to break down these walls My world would always crumble around me Trapping me inside myself as another obstacle falls Exhausted no longer trying to escape anymore No longer sure of anything Unsure of what is worth fighting for