Fragility

I could do nothing Nothing to help them I lived my whole life for this moment Then stood helplessly by Only eight weeks ago I was so happy Relaxed in a hot tub during a ski trip And made plans for travel My parents taught me To live for others as they did A life not in service Is no life at all I always loved order I built so much structure I was driven to conquer An unstoppable force My family is worried About how I’m sounding Distracted and distant So unlike myself All my friends know me That I am reliable I haven’t missed a day In seventeen years This doesn’t feel right Something seems broken They can tell that I’m struggling But I must keep on What am I doing here But for to save them They’re counting on me And all around me they die I told them that I think That I’m feeling better I’m going for runs And calling my friends But I could do nothing Nothing to help them I lived my whole life for this moment Then stood helplessly by July 12, 2020