Exhaustion and Loss

I sit here in anguish, too broken to think As my sweet girl sobs on from the pain Of the chemicals, fear, exhaustion and loss That the cloud of lymphoma does rain. And I who with joy traded career to be mom Have failed at life's greatest calling To keep my child happy and healthy and live Caught in loving arms when she is falling. And how do I tell her, "It will be fine." When my broken heart has its own doubts? I try to be strong, hold her hand through the pain But the tears rain when meds knock her out. The secret I dare not tell anyone else Is her life is the fuel that feeds mine. If she loses this fight and moves on from this earth, I'd follow her quickly behind. Ironic, indeed, as my tears rain down On her beautiful bald sleeping head, Just 23 years ago I watched her like this Tiny, perfect, asleep in my bed. Life is a dream you don't know til you wake If you flew when you jumped or crashed down. I was flying along so sure of my height Then I woke in the tears where I drowned. 10/15/2016 For Words Drowned in Tears Poetry Contest