Christina
To me, she was a flightless bird
Convinced she was restrained
by those around her
Delusional in thought
that the world around her
wanted nothing more
than to keep her from soaring.
To me, she was a child
trapped, scolded, and tortured
desperate to break free-
too helpless and crippled to change.
To everyone else,
she was selfish, she was a liar,
she was manipulative,
narcissistic; a petty thief,
a drug addict, a prostitute . .
To everyone else,
she is broken
and to her,
she just needs a fix.
And they tell me,
"Let her go."
As if I could let the one
who gave me life
be gone?
When her blood
runs through my veins
her broken words
left scars, and stains
and they tell me
"Just move on"?
When I'd see a blonde
in grocery stores,
and run to them
in hopes it's her
I felt something crack.
When my birthday's came around
and she said,
"I think I'll be in town,"
every lie from every year
before that moment
disappeared.
And when she didn't come,
because she didn't have
gas
because she needed to
work
because she
just couldn't make it-
I was the first to understand.
I was the first to forgive.
I was the first to defend her,
to love her,
to trust her once more.
She taught me,
that promises are only words
with as little meaning as you give them;
that love is measured by your ability
to withstand pain.
She taught me,
the hardest thing in life
is watching someone you love
destroy themselves
and the second hardest thing in life
is to become them
Copyright © Dana Smith | Year Posted 2014
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