Calamity Strikes Again Ii

Neptune must have used as parchment Mother-of-pearl to inscribe his laws For he’d richly rewarded the oysters With an oceanic spa. So, while seeking calm through deliberation And enjoying the mud bubbles of my bath Who should I spy in the distance? But Calamity trudging up the path. His foot arched out proud and haughty Like the neck of a noble steed As he pulled his crustaceous carriage At a break-neck snail speed. The mud began to feel like mortar As I stonily watched him draw near That audacious, contemptuous clam Made my heart cry out with fear. He passed by slow and haughty Like an imperious, dismissive sigh But as my tension began to dissipate He kicked a mudball at my eye. I watched warily, his insolent passage Until he was but a tiny speck of dirt Knowing I'd formed another pearl of wisdom, From that impetuous, narcissistic squirt.