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Beggars of California

Beggars of California With their tattoos and their piercings, I don’t give money to beggars in California. Up on the Haight with his honey, not really in need, this beggar of California. At least in New York you get some song and dance, perhaps the tickle of a tenor sax ?and they’re out in the rain, not just when it’s sunny, like those beggars in California. Near my apartment in Pacific Heights, know them by name. It’s funny; frown when they see me: two brothers, one on either side of the street, these yuppie beggars of California. I offered to pay the pawn on Runny Nose’s instruments out of hock, but his sign was a true ploy. Another’s sign: “Sailor needs a ship”; it’s war time!? Beggar of California! I offered one a berth and a meal of tunny. I still see him, but he begs no more. I think he’s on the dole with a cot. His words were foggy, this beggar of California. I begged Jackie Paper, since the eighth grade: run for California, head west young man.Education was free. Was I cunning or just another beggar in California?

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Pashang Salehi

Date: 2/8/2016 5:33:00 PM

Hi Stephen, I just saw this poem of yours. Nicely done. It is a beautiful poem. I want to make a comment regarding "the form" that you've chosen for this piece. " Ghazal". Poetry soup has a good definition and example about ghazal. The first line “a couplet” end up of a rhyme , sometime followed with refrain( beggar of California). The subsequent couplets pick up the same type of rhyme but only on the second part. The refrain in Ghazal is not mandatory. please check the example. Pashang

Pashang Salehi
Date: 4/18/2016 11:31:00 PM

Thank you

Stephen Barry
Date: 4/17/2016 10:45:00 PM

So read these comments back words! I , int eh spirit of Jack Kerouac's American Haiku, would call Beggars an American Ghazal: "The American Haiku is not exactly the Japanese Haiku. The Japanese Haiku is strictly disciplined to seventeen syllables but since the language structure is different I don't think American Haikus (short three-line poems intended to be completely packed with Void of Whole) should worry about syllables because American speech is something again...bursting to pop. Jack Kerouac

Stephen Barry
Date: 4/17/2016 10:43:00 PM

To carve a place for the traditional form of the ghazal in American literature, Ali put together the anthology Ravishing DisUnities: Real Ghazals in English in 2000, for which he collected more than 100 ghazals, some more faithful to the traditional form than others.

Stephen Barry
Date: 4/17/2016 10:41:00 PM

"The ghazal is composed of a minimum of five couplets—and typically no more than fifteen—that are structurally, thematically, and emotionally autonomous. Each line of the poem must be of the same length, though meter is not imposed in English. The first couplet introduces a scheme, made up of a rhyme followed by a refrain. Subsequent couplets pick up the same scheme in the second line only, repeating the refrain and rhyming the second line with both lines of the first stanza. The final couplet usually includes the poet’s signature, referring to the author in the first or third person, and frequently including the poet’s own name or a derivation of its meaning. Traditionally invoking melancholy, love, longing, and metaphysical questions . . .

Stephen Barry
Date: 4/17/2016 10:40:00 PM

Pashang- I welcome your compliment. There are many traditional parameters to the Ghazal. By your standards , it seems, Beggars is not a Ghazal. It meets many many of the tradiyional parameters, such as syllable count yada yada. I'm actually a Grad student (already retired) and was guided by the Prof on the form. I see you've written some but do not have the time to scrutinize them too much. I do offer these few comments:

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 9/27/2015 1:36:00 PM

- Hey Stephen :) - Welcome with your first poem here on P- Soup - Hope your stay will give you much pleasure - I've been here since 11/26/2011 ....... it is a pleasure to share poems and read what others write - I wish you good luck :) - Nice to "meet" you :) - // Anne-Lise :)

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 9/22/2015 10:55:00 AM

Hi Stephen, WELCOME to poetry soup. I hope you have fun with this wonderful community. You'll find many friendly poets who are ready to support and give positive feedback. I will enjoy following you and your poetry when you are ready :) We are Lucky To Have you. Enjoy Poetry Soup:) Your New Poet Friend @-> LINDA <-@

Skat A

Date: 9/22/2015 1:09:00 AM

Stephen, Welcome to Poetry Soup. It will be a delight to read and become familiar with your poems in the future. As for now, I will greet you with the same smile others passed when I first joined the soup. Wishing you and your poetry the best. I hope you get to meet all the nice poets around here STARTING with me- SKAT :-) Please drop a hello and tell me a little about yourself if you wish. I would like to be your newest poetry soup "FRIEND" Hugs* SKAT