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Beautiful Callouses

Not beautiful in the physical sense is the woman of my merciless dreams. Flowery words don't do her justice, hence my futile attempts at expressing love; she be like a star that glistens and gleams, mocking a lonely man from high above. But a welcome wave to my callous heart - indeed, a much needed crash upon so still and bleak a shore, long deprived of art. She needs not ruby red lip, nor pink blush; to attract mine eyes you must simply show. It's your smile, dear, that turns my shell to mush: not beautiful in the physical sense, but a welcome wave to my callous heart. NOTE: I don't write sonnets very often, but this particular one is a lesser known format, called a Cornish Sonnet. It has 14 lines following this rhyme scheme: AbacbcDedfefAD. What makes this sonnet rhyme scheme more distinct is that the 1st and and 7th lines are actually repeated in the last two lines, becoming the final couplet.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 12/20/2017 4:53:00 AM
It is very sweet, beautiful and witty at the same time. i had fun reading it, Tom. :)
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Date: 9/7/2016 10:53:00 AM
The beauty in this piece is not only your writing but the rhythm at which this moves when read out loud. Bravo! ––))
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Date: 6/29/2016 10:42:00 PM
Interesting form of a sonnet, I have never tried one this way. So thank you for inspiring me to give it a whirl!
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 9/3/2016 5:48:00 PM
Glad you could give it a go! Curious what you came up with ...
Date: 6/7/2016 6:07:00 PM
Tim, in looking at a few of your poems it seems you have an in-depth understanding of poetry. Good job on this sonnet
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 6/10/2016 10:56:00 PM
What a kind and thoughtful remark, James. Thank you very much! :)
Date: 6/5/2016 8:15:00 PM
Well you could have fooled me, this my friend is a beautiful sonnet. Well done!
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 6/5/2016 10:19:00 PM
Thank you so much my friend!
Date: 6/2/2016 1:48:00 AM
You are capable of perfecting all forms of writing !!!... She needs not ruby red lip, nor pink blush; to attract mine eyes you must simply show.... not all the people think in this way...great thoughts and excellent pen !!! Cheers ~R~E~d
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 6/5/2016 5:24:00 PM
I am humbled by your words and blessed by your friendship. Though it is not enough I say it it once again ... Thank You!
Date: 5/30/2016 4:53:00 AM
Hi, Tim. Just thought I would pop around and pay my respects. Glad I did - What a marvellous piece of writing! A much deserved seven! My very best regards to you, Tim. :) john
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/31/2016 11:19:00 AM
Thanks John! Means a lot coming from you :)
Date: 5/29/2016 8:21:00 AM
Hi Timothy! I tried this sonnet form at the beginning of the year (Craig's contest) and found it an excellent tool to use. The final couplet needs a bit of planning at the start, especially if you also want to make it rhyme. Your sonnet is really good, with some lovely phrasing; I like how you branched the 8th line into the 9th! Finally...A smile can work wonders! ~ Regards // paul
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/31/2016 11:12:00 AM
That's funny that Craig made a contest for Cornish Sonnets! And you're correct ... a bit more planning is involved with the repetition.
Date: 5/28/2016 11:51:00 PM
The poem is beautiful, the women you describe beautiful, but I really like how you did the sonnet as well! :)
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/31/2016 11:02:00 AM
Thanks Art!
Date: 5/28/2016 6:22:00 PM
Timothy a wonderful sonnet, really well done glad to see you're breaking out of your writers block.
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/31/2016 10:54:00 AM
Thanks John for the encouragement ... I've still been sharing a lot of older poems, but there is a couple collaborations in the workings .... so I'm hoping they'll help break me out :)
Date: 5/28/2016 9:26:00 AM
She indeed sounds beautiful.
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/31/2016 10:46:00 AM
That she does ... thanks Richard!
Date: 5/28/2016 7:29:00 AM
Well-written. Great info on the lesser known format. I'm always learning...
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/31/2016 10:40:00 AM
I think every poet on this site is always learning ... at least I hope to think so :) Thanks for stopping by Miss 'Twinkle!
Date: 5/28/2016 1:43:00 AM
A special charming tribute to the lady Timothy. A unique sonnet I haven't seen before. #7 ; )
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/31/2016 10:35:00 AM
Thanks Connie! I hope you give it a try one of these days :)
Date: 5/27/2016 12:53:00 PM
I felt this so deeply. What a poignant last line! I hope your move to the new home went smoothly! Cheers, Tim!
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/30/2016 11:44:00 PM
Thanks Drake ... on both counts! Yes, the move went smoothly ... still getting to know the place better.
Date: 5/26/2016 8:16:00 PM
what an interesting sonnet form, Timothy. I really liked it. But I didn't get why you had a callous heat. I do not think so at all!!!
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/30/2016 11:22:00 PM
Happy to introduce a new form ... this poem was fictional so the "callous heart" just sorta came to me ...
Date: 5/26/2016 7:38:00 PM
I really like your Sonnet, Timothy. Such a nice tribute to a natural, lovely woman with a smile that turns your heart to mush! 7 Sandra
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/30/2016 11:13:00 PM
Thank you Sandra! The woman in question is still in the "merciless dreams" stage ... not yet reality.
Date: 5/26/2016 4:51:00 PM
Tim, and it is BEAUTIFUL, I love this 7 and then some ~
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/30/2016 10:59:00 PM
Thanks Constance!
Date: 5/26/2016 3:11:00 PM
No problem, Timmy. I often do the same thing, to the wonder of the writer. Words can convey one thing, then something other; it all depends on the reader. No need to apologize. / M
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/28/2016 11:31:00 PM
Very true, Maurice.
Date: 5/26/2016 3:10:00 PM
I think you meant 'deprived' of art instead of 'depraved', but poetry, being an art, is sometimes depraved - I know mine is. And no half-ass poet has a calloused heart. Congrats on all your attempts at depraved art.
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/28/2016 11:30:00 PM
Thanks for the insightful comment and the word correction ... you are right, I did mean "deprived" ...
Date: 5/26/2016 7:48:00 AM
Not a sonnet writer or lover, but yours is quite good, smooth in flow, clear in meaning. Well done. There are no innuendos (your word) in my Perils of Mountain Climbing. The poem is fairly open with no hint of vulgarity. Thanks for stopping by. / M
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/28/2016 11:19:00 PM
Thanks Maurice. To tell you the truth, I find it difficult to understand a lot of sonnets, which is why I try to make them lucid (when I do write them). I find imagery often more easy to connect with than emotions ... but perhaps other will disagree.
Date: 5/26/2016 3:59:00 AM
A real lovely write:) "not beautiful in the physical sense" - I like that thought:)
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/28/2016 10:51:00 PM
Thank you Jo, for such a sincere comment! More than one way to be beautiful, for sure :)
Date: 5/26/2016 2:52:00 AM
"indeed, a much needed crash upon so still and bleak a shore, long depraved of art."...love those lines because I get them...this is absolutely beautiful Timothy - it flows so naturally and smoothly! Adding this lovely piece to my favorites for sure..a smile like a wave upon a depraved shore, that's a pleasant crash for certain! Always, Laura
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Timothy Hicks
Date: 5/28/2016 10:46:00 PM
Thanks for gracing my page with your presence, dear Laura! And of course, the fave :)

Book: Shattered Sighs