Barricade

I forgot who I was and no longer know who I want to be All I know is I have become a stranger Who is this person who is supposed to be me All of the dreams I once had faded away No longer important Because I no longer feel the same way All of the beliefs I once carried no longer are there Everything I said I’d never do I’ve done And I don’t even care All of the people I cherished and trusted betrayed me Everyone was made of plastic How was I so blind not to see I became a fool who lost game after game that I never wanted to play Dealt a misdeal from the start And believed that it was supposed to be that way Afraid of the dark yet I hide from the light Asleep all day And awake all night Afraid of dying alone yet unwilling to let anyone too close to my heart As soon as they try I push us apart Sabotaging every chance of happiness I have ever found Solitaire has become my best friend Since nobody is around Alone I sit and wonder who I have become I don’t understand who I am I can’t explain how I feel and it makes me feel dumb All alone I stopped crying because tears no longer fall I no longer allow myself to feel I just keep building this wall Everyday I stack a brick on top of the one before Leaving no room for windows And not even a door The brick wall I’ve been building has no means to break free It barricading me inside And preventing anyone from reaching me