Barbershop Quartet

Old Mr. Nicholson totters across the town square to the barbershop where Clive has cut his hair for the last forty years or so Not hardly needing even a trim but pretending he has a reason besides the gossip waiting within Inside, the shop smells like hair tonic shaving cream and old leather and the only noticeable things that Clive's changed in the last forty years are the calendar, magazines and gumball machine Tall and gaunt, Clive stoops and shuffles around the shop a bit slow and shaky, but still the cheapest and best around as he drawls out the latest scuttlebutt from all over town Harry Van Hoorn leans sideways in the old barber chair hanging on every word like an old hound ears flapping in the breeze making an odd squinchy face as he holds back a sneeze bits of loose hair tickling his nose While old Arnie Bruner broods in the corner his usual sour-faced self like an old prune all wrinkled and dried up without a single good thing to say “Well, hello Ed!” Clive stops and says as Mr. Nicholson sidles in he amiably waves his comb in the air continuing to work on Harry's hair thoroughly ignored as he continues to speak “Long time, no see!” Harry sings out even though they were both in here just last week “Hiya Harry!” Mr. Nicholson says in his high-pitched little whine “Have you heard about-” “Oh wait, lemme guess-” Arnie breaks in in his growly bass “...it's about that place... next door to-” “Jim and Grace” Harry cuts in “No, I was going to say-” Mr. Nicholson chirps a bit snappily “It must be about Jenny Mae...” Harry chortles gleefully “No, it's gotta be about Faye!-” Arnie belts out grumpily Meanwhile, they're missing all the scorching details of the greatest scandal as Clive croons on amid the din of his gabby, blabby customers each desperate to get a word in Back and forth, in and out with bickers and shouts hums, warbles, trills, groans solos and accidental duets their crazy cacophony has become a funny (albeit gossipy) kind of barbershop quartet!