Anger Management
I'm rereading Marshall Rosenberg's chapter on Anger,
The big challenge for nonviolent communicators.
Marshall, a StraightWhiteMale psychotherapist,
repeatedly refers to feeling disappointment
escalating into Loser-shamed anger
sometimes further escalating into defensive
red-hot blaming Rage
risking lose/lose nihilistic outcomes for oneself
and anyone in our self-righteous
zealous
fundamentally egocentric paths.
I remember my anger with homophobic siblings,
That they could not reasonably expect me
to exercise LeftBrain dominant choice
about which gender characteristics
I feel
see
hear
smell
taste
know as invitingly sexual
and which more repulsive.
I had and have no more choice than they pre-adolescently had
and have to this day
and this welcoming night.
But, homophobic revulsion
and heterophobic anger
may be part of
StraightWhite LeftBrain colonizing privilege,
unlike victimized
stigmatized
GLBTQ and/or Person of Color marginalization,
Patriarchal oppression
is to believe you have more autonomous win/win and win/lose powers
to cognitively choose
than actually Elder RightBrain experienced
and remembered as default win/win attraction,
long before the neurological possibility
of autonomous and privileged LeftBrain intelligent choice-making.
Perhaps my StraightWhite siblings
trust, in gospel faith,
that God did gave them a preadolescent privileged choice,
and they righteously chose heterosexual win/win dominant
reproductive
baby-making
natural ecological relationships.
It is difficult
disappointing
perhaps frightening
and angering
and even hateful rage
producing ultra-negative emotional
StraightWhite ego-sympathetic systemic revulsion
to believe a sibling they trusted as a pure white child
could make this my deviant choice
despite all the LeftBrain gospel enculturation
we white nationalist shared.
But, all this disappointment
and anger
would, thereby, be rooted
in an incorrect LeftBrain dominant assumption
that StraightWhite Christian privileged people
have divinely inspired powers
to choose sexual attraction preference
and they chose reproductive health
where I deliberately chose degenerative pathology
even though, by their evangelical definition,
God did not create me privileged to choose
StraightWhite Christianity.
This imposed and commanding
punishing straight-supremacist view,
that my own irresponsible non-choice
for the good and healthy
straight and LeftBrain dominant
obvious secularly purposeful
and sacredly meaningful choice
means I must be intrinsically evil,
of the Devil,
Contrary to my own ecosystemic
health and safety world view
and left/right polypathic autonomic experience,
so I remain disappointed
dissassociated
by their anti-Christlike bigotry,
self-righteously angry
sometimes erupting into a red-hot climax of rage
About always cast as victim
in win/lose capitalistic
patriarchal
colonizing StraightWhiteMale dominant
LeftBrain ecosystemic
ecopolitical
psycho-social neurological history
of RightBrain sacred autonomic interdependent experience
and LeftBrain verbal memory of consent/dissent,
choice
deliberation
discernment of health/pathology
and safety/danger values
for win/win compassion
multicultural connection
eco-empathic
polycultural resonant/deviant
attaching/detaching
compassionate/severing
communication/chaos.
Copyright © Gerald Dillenbeck | Year Posted 2020
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