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A Jading

the smell wafted like a dream. charred wood and red smoke. “benjie!” she yelled as i ran away down the hall raising my arm against the flickering heat. “benjie, come back!” she pleaded. “leave him alone!” i stopped and coughed. hot air rushed across my face. hearing nothing but the roaring smoke i froze-up -- torn for the first time between Comfort and Knowledge. then slowly out of the choking haze came a whimper and a scrape. and a punch shook the wall. i peeked inside the sizzling arch. hot pitch oozed from an overhead beam caught fire and dripped tiny flamelets onto the hardwood floor. he was there alright. shaking and sitting on the floor in the corner. i whispered: “what’s the matter daddy?” he looked up through crazed eyes of fire and hate. “go away boy”. then he cried and hugged his knees.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




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Date: 12/2/2015 3:20:00 AM
The trauma of witnessing mental illness is rawly depicted through explicit sensory appeal as we observe the loss of the essence of what should be a comforting & nurturing sojourn of what childhood should represent & transition into. Children have initially little comprehension of such crises & will still act accordingly to age and maturity while trying to understand what the mind is not ready to conceive! There is a paradox here but not enough space to explain... Brilliant Sam!!! Cheryl
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Date: 9/12/2014 6:30:00 PM
Oh WoW! I was minding my own business and reading your poem, something in my mind said "benjie" was a dog and I was wondering what the dog was going to do. then came the last three lines. Oh WoW!
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Date: 5/11/2014 2:07:00 PM
Good strong stuff. Congrats
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Date: 5/9/2014 11:11:00 PM
Hi Sam, My friend this is Extra - extra extraordinary!! What a write this is and congrats Sam on the win thank you for sharing this write with us. Peace, Deborah
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Date: 5/9/2014 1:49:00 PM
Intense! grats on the win, amazing artwork of words you have given us
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Date: 5/8/2014 12:18:00 PM
Congratulations Sam on your first place win... Verlena
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Date: 5/8/2014 12:14:00 PM
Awesome write Sam ! Well deserved worthy no one win ! congrats !
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Date: 5/8/2014 11:16:00 AM
Wow, Sam. Great win! Congratulations on a captivating poem.
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Date: 5/8/2014 9:46:00 AM
Good morning Sam...Yup, this one, had my attention, from start to end... it is so so so nice to see, it was you I gave the number #1 spot in my contest... Thank you so much for enjoying and supporting my "ANY POEM" contest...... Stop by my latest blog --Raindrops and roses-- if you'd like to receive a cute Congratulations. Wishing all winning poets a great day. Love Linda :-)
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Sam Toil
Date: 5/8/2014 10:38:00 AM
Linda, sweetie, I don't know what to say, except thank you! There are so many great poets in your contest. It humbles me greatly that you would pick mine. I want to thank you also for the many things you do to support this wonderful site. It wouldn't be the same without you. Luv & Hugs;) Ben
Date: 5/4/2014 1:29:00 PM
Ahh!! Sad but temperated with other emotions..I hope not a real happening in life but just a work about a similar situation.Enjoyed reading your captivating work..Sara
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Sam Toil
Date: 5/4/2014 2:29:00 PM
Sara, thank you for your warm comment. When I write, I close my eyes and wait for an image that describes my feelings at that moment. And then I follow that image wherever it leads me. This poem was just such an image. I have shared with you my family history with regards to depression. And although what I depict here did not happen, it is Truth. It depicts what I felt as a child at a particular moment. Thanks for stopping by..Ben
Date: 5/1/2014 7:39:00 PM
Oh wow the emotion in this..i whispered: “what’s the matter daddy?” he looked up through crazed eyes of fire and hate. “go away boy”. then he cried and hugged his knees. I want to cry... Sam you have to be my favorite poet Brooke...
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Brooke Dylan
Date: 5/2/2014 7:08:00 AM
Awesome poetry Sam.. just awesome.. I can see why you are number two best new poet of Soup.. hugs
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Sam Toil
Date: 5/2/2014 7:05:00 AM
Brooke, I am moved beyond words at the trip you made to my page last night. You have made my morning most exciting;) I am eager to step deeper into your poetry today and at some point down the road to becoming close friends;) Peace...Sam
Date: 4/22/2014 2:38:00 PM
Very emotional and visual. I love poetry that clearly moves the writer, and this is evident here. Great work!
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Sam Toil
Date: 4/22/2014 2:53:00 PM
Hi Jennifer. Two words from your comment: "emotional" and "visual". I tried very hard to leave precisely those two impacts on the reader. It is so gratifying to know that you got it. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a bit of yourself for me to treasure. Peace...Sam
Date: 4/11/2014 10:23:00 PM
HI SAM, the depraved , the depressed, and that need to be alone mixed in hugging emotion. you've painted a jading, with a well, choking hold. SKAT
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Sam Toil
Date: 4/12/2014 6:51:00 AM
Thanks, SKAT, for your thoughtful words. It helps so much to know an accomplished poet such as yourself appreciates my writing...Sam
Date: 4/11/2014 10:05:00 AM
Sam, a gripping poem, I like the flow. The ending imagery is heartfelt, why no one wants to see their dad, in such tormented exhaustion. Sam you created a well tensed up, mood... enjoyed.. Linda
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Sam Toil
Date: 4/11/2014 8:12:00 PM
Linda, I wish we had a way to communicate that wasn't limited to 400 characters. I just want to say how important your critique of my poem is to me. It motivates me to write and to post more. Some of these thoughts and images have been bottled up in me for years. Its nice to know someone else gets it... Sam