Get Your Premium Membership

A Fallen Sparrow

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Lin Lane.


It was just lying there on the floor like a poem I had abandoned, left for dead, considered trash Not a breath did it take No thrashing to behold I'd not witnessed its death in the making, truth be told but I knew with every instinct so I hung my head this morning in respectful mourning Its eyes, I'd only imagined winked at me while I stared in shock wondering where was its winged flock to have left it here all alone to have its feathers plucked like an oyster that'd been shucked eaten by a hungry mouth left to decay were its tiny bones when it should've been flying south I knelt to whisper of my sorrow for this stiff fallen sparrow who would never see another morrow and grieved for its remains until I was aghast but relieved to see its outstretched wings had deceived my blurry eyes What joy it brought me to realize this bird was not of flesh and blood but an Origami work of art

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 3/17/2024 2:30:00 AM
returning to congratulate you on your POTW designation. Well deserved!
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/23/2024 2:07:00 AM
Thanks so very much, Sara.
Date: 3/17/2024 2:30:00 AM
returning to congratulate you on your POTW designation. Well deserved!
Login to Reply
Date: 3/15/2024 4:16:00 AM
Congratulations on your POTW. Well done.
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/15/2024 4:26:00 AM
Thank you very much, Jeanette.
Date: 3/13/2024 5:32:00 AM
Back with congratulations for POTW! I love this one, Lin!
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/13/2024 5:41:00 AM
Thanks so much for the congrats comment, Kim. Have a fun day.
Date: 3/13/2024 5:27:00 AM
HI Lin, Congratulations on The Fallen Sparrow. You managed to bring such empathy from this reader as you visually described this poor tiny sparrow, never suspecting such an ending to come. You are a bit of twister trickster, eh? Enjoyed it. Blessings to you dear poetess.
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/13/2024 5:41:00 AM
Hi Nancy and thank you ever so much for your plaudits. "Twister trickster." Lol that's a mouthful of fun!
Date: 3/12/2024 10:08:00 AM
This poem reminds me of times when I see something vaguely in the distance and make too-quick assumptions of what it is. I guess that's a human trait - to jump to conclusions too fast. Excellent poem.
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/12/2024 10:18:00 AM
We have many human flaws, Mark. They don't always work out to be something less than tragic. Thank you very much for your kind remarks.
Date: 3/12/2024 9:48:00 AM
How lovely, how engaging and creative! I love its compassion that rises on the wings kindness. Congratulations your POTW! Kudos, Paulette
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/12/2024 10:15:00 AM
Hi Paulette. Thank you so very much for reading and commenting on this one with your gracious words. I appreciate your insight.
Date: 3/11/2024 5:22:00 AM
Wow engaging and emotional! Congratulations on your poem winning potw!
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/11/2024 7:31:00 AM
Hello, Karen and thank you ever so much for your thoughtful comments.
Date: 3/10/2024 7:11:00 PM
Congratulations on your POTW honor, Lin! You certainly deserve the honor for this sensitive and loving poem. I love the twist at the end, well done after reminding us to be respectful of all live in all forms. Smiles ~ Blessings, your poet friend in Texas, Bill
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/11/2024 7:29:00 AM
Hi Bill and thanks for you fine review. I'm delighted by your comments and the smiles. Thanks so much.
Date: 3/10/2024 2:56:00 PM
Wow Lin you had me emotional with this one . I love the clever twist at the end, especially as I can't see the origami pic with the potw, many congratulations hugs Jan xx
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/10/2024 3:37:00 PM
Hey there, Jan! Thanks a bunch and hugs, chick!
Date: 3/10/2024 12:54:00 PM
Congratulations on a well deserved POTW lovely Lin! This poem tugged at my heart as l often think to myself that wild or free animals of any kind are treated in a blasé manner when they die….people walk or drive passed them without a second thought or recognition. Like road kill….l often think was that rabbit or whatever it was getting food for their family and got hit by a car…Your poem gave light and love to one of lifes creatures….with a curve ball last line Ha!! Debx
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/10/2024 1:21:00 PM
Hi my kind friend. The soft places in your heart are exposed in your comments, and that make me smile. I'd expect nothing less from you because I know how much all small creatures mean to you. I'm so pleased that you liked this one. Thanks!
Date: 3/10/2024 12:08:00 PM
Dearest Lin, I am giving you a standing ovation for POTW! You and your poem are so deserving! - Blessings, Daniel
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/10/2024 1:20:00 PM
Thank you ever so much for the applause, Daniel. lol Your kind comments are so delightful to read.
Date: 3/10/2024 9:43:00 AM
Congratulations Lin on a quite remarkable POTW, I honestly wasn’t sure til the end what was going on, I’d seen your picture, but thought it was just a prob for the poem, A fine work of art indeed both poem and Origami piece, cheers David
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/10/2024 1:18:00 PM
Thanks so very much for your fine feedback, David. You're thoughts are always encouraging.
Date: 3/10/2024 6:38:00 AM
What a great poem Lin! You artfully built the sadness of its death, and the relief felt in recognition of its true form. Congratulations ON POTW! :)
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/10/2024 1:17:00 PM
Many thanks for your awesome comments, Linda. I appreciate every word.
Date: 3/10/2024 4:24:00 AM
Lin, love your poem, captivating and with a great ending, congratulations on POTW! Hugs
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/10/2024 1:17:00 PM
Thanks so very much for your thoughts and congratulations, Tania.
Date: 3/10/2024 3:53:00 AM
It started off quite sad but ended in joy, well written Lin and big congratulations to you on the honour of POTW. Tom
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/10/2024 1:16:00 PM
That's life sometimes, Tom. "All's well that ends well." Thanks for the congratulations!
Date: 3/10/2024 3:25:00 AM
returning to congratulate you on your POTW designation....such a lovely poem alive with emotion. Enjoy your day!
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/10/2024 1:15:00 PM
It's been a rough morning, but thank you for the news and kind comments, Sara.
Date: 3/9/2024 1:53:00 PM
Oh wow. Love this one. A fave
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/10/2024 1:15:00 PM
Thanks for the fave and kind thoughts, Andrea.
Date: 3/8/2024 2:17:00 PM
"A Fallen Sparrow" is a wonderful story/write from the first line to the last line. Great picture. It has been many years since I made any Origami things. Have a fun Origami day........
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/10/2024 1:14:00 PM
Dear Paula, your kind words are always appreciated. Thank you.
Date: 3/7/2024 4:37:00 PM
Fabulous and captivating poem, Lin. I was so caught up in mourning for the poor little sparrow not knowing until the end you were describing an Origami work of arts. I appreciate how you engaged the reader line by line. Perfect. Have a pleasant evening, Sara
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/8/2024 10:34:00 AM
oh, thanks so much for feeling the sadness intended in this one. I wanted to continue the ruse, but sometimes less is more.
Date: 3/7/2024 6:19:00 AM
Dear Lin, your poem is a masterpiece of emotion and introspection. Your words evoke a sense of loss and reflection, beautifully capturing the essence of vulnerability and the human experience. The imagery leads us on a journey of empathy and self-discovery. Your twist ending adds depth and introspection, leaving a lasting impact. Your poem is a testament to your skill as a poet and storyteller. Keep shining, Lin! - Blessings, Daniel
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/7/2024 6:49:00 AM
Sorry, Daniel. I was in the middle of a conversation and didn't want you to think I'd responded to Kim and not to you. She suggested I remove the last line, and she was right. It added nothing to the tale and distracted from it. You are so very gracious and generous with your compliments. Humbly, I thank you for thinking my poetry is deserving.
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/7/2024 6:32:00 AM
I’ll get back to you in a bit hugs and a smile
Date: 3/7/2024 5:56:00 AM
Quite interesting. Not sure that you needed to end with the last line. There is a clue at the beginning… like a poem I had abandoned, left for dead, considered trash…Now you will laugh, I once feared a water mocassin was in my house. After my neighbor (Police) examined the living specimen, I looked and realized it was an eel my husband had in our fish tank. How embarrasing & hilarious. Love your poem, Lin! A fave!
Login to Reply
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/7/2024 7:08:00 AM
oh my gosh! I would've been frightened, too! Thanks for your suggestion, the fave, and your snake story. Hugs.
Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 3/7/2024 6:30:00 AM
You’re right, Kim. Thanks.

Book: Shattered Sighs