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Best Poems Written by Trash Boat

Below are the all-time best Trash Boat poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Trash Boat Poem

Taking Out the Trash

I took out the trash
After making some cash
I tripped over a bug
I got bit in the leg by a pug
I got up and  limped back to my house
A kid started laughing cuz i was wearing my wife's blouse
I went over and punched him in the face
His mom sprayed me with mace
So i blindly walked home
But then i stepped on a garden gnome
I fell down in pain
Then it started to rain
I crawled into my livingroom
My wife hit me in the head with a broom
She told me to move out
So i went to stay with my dad
I went to his house to pout
I was so mad
I decided to watch some basketball on the tv i found in the trash
My favorite nba player is steve nash
I should've never took out the trash!

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My Turtle Named Joe

Joe the turtle
He was purple
He loved taking naps
Hes my pet and i love to rap
Joe never moves
His stinky shell has a lot of grooves
He always stinks
i try putting him in the water but he just sinks
He is so thin
I've had him ever since i was ten
He hasn't ate anything in weeks
His neck has a lot of kinks
Joe is very skinny
He looks super wimpy
Wait a minute, i think hes dead
well i guess i'll go bury him again

Details | Trash Boat Poem

Because Im the Man

I'm the Man
my teeth are yellow
try not to bellow
My hair is nasty
I'm a little sassy
i think i'm trapped 
oops i just crapped
I love your mom
his name is tom
i love your sis
his name is chris
I like touching my legs
and eating scrambled eggs
i like taking naps
but i hate my grandpa paps
i'm going to bed 
but i want some bread 
so i hit it with my head
I don't need it anyway
I'm not going to stay
i'm moving to spain
I own a great dane
I'm going to go take a bath
because I got dirty in math
I'm sorry i just got bored
and i hit my arm with a cord
I'm just gonna throw myself in the trash can
Because i'm the man
I can't afford water because its free
so i drink glasses of tea
I've started to enjoy checking out dolphins
So i killed one and stuffed it in a coffin
Because i'm the Man

Details | Trash Boat Poem

My New Car

I bought a new car
I got in and drove to a bar
I had a little to much to drink
Then i stumbled to the sink
Rinsed off my face
I accidentally  used the soap and my eyes felt like they were shot with mace
I blindly got to my car
I had to get to my golf game in time for the first par
I slammed on the peddle
Then my engine started to rattle
And then i slammed into a tree
I got so scared that i started to pee
The whole car blew up
My throat felt like it had a lump
I couldn't speak for weeks
Because my car was no longer very neat...

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Wheres My Chicken Leg

Wheres my chicken leg
I'm not going to beg
I can't believe i lost my good old leg
I wish i could find my freaking chicken
somebody better find it before i start kickin
I miss my little baby drum stick
I'm about to hit somebody with a brick
I'm not playing
Whoever has it better start praying
Because their dead
There going to see a lot of red
I'm going to put them in a hospital bed
I might even give them a mouth full of lead
When i use my good old shotgun
So they better run
Because I need my chicken leg
This is just sad
I'm pretty mad
And to tell you the truth it's pretty sad
I'm about to go tell my dad
About how i lost my chicken leg

Details | Trash Boat Poem

My Dog Is Dead

I let my dog go outside
Once i seen what happened i began to cry
My dog ran under a car and died
I seen his head was gone and i wondered why?
The car sped off without saying a word
I was watching judge judy and the court had been adjured
When it happened i turned off the tv and ran to my baby
Maybe i can catch that jerk that killed my dog, just maybe!
I got in my car and chased that jerk
That smell of death continued to lerk
I rear ended that punk
I'm going to hurt him so bad hes going to become a monk
He stepped out of his car and came toward me
I then ran him over and broke his knee
i looked at him and said 'how does it feel?"
He looked up and said 'What's the big deal?'
'You ran over my puppy' i yelled at him
Then i did a burn out on him and killed em!
Then i went home and there was my dog
He was alive and he was chasing my hog
Oh so that wasn't my pup that was hit
i killed that guy for nothing but i don't care one bit!

Details | Trash Boat Poem

Little Johnny

Little johnny was taking a walk
when he got hit in the face by a rock
he fell to the a great thud
a kid yelled "are you ok bud?"
He stumbled to his feet
he decided to try to get out of the heat
and go under a tree
But then he got stung by a bee
he cryed as he ran home
then he tripped and broke his hip bone
little johnny crawled to his house
he got hungry and chewed on a mouse
little johnny went to his room
but he tripped over the stairs with a boom
he cryed alittle and then took a nap
he later decided to take a walk so he pulled out his map
but then a spider bit him on the hand
it felt like he got hit with a rubber band
his parents ran him threw the hospital door
little johnny, was no more.

Details | Trash Boat Poem

My Little Toad

I was walking down the road
when i found this toad
i picked it up
just as if it was a little pup
i hugged it
the toad didn't seem to care one bit
so i gave it a little kiss
The toad skooted back and began to hiss
so i gave it another hug a big one!
The toad jumped back and tried to run
so i scooped him back into my hand
i petted his back which felt like sand
I stared into the toad's eyes
Then i pulled out my box of french fries
and shared them with the toad
he sure ate quite a load
then he threw up all over my hand but i didn't mind
because this toad seemed so kind!
so i took the toad home with me
by the time i got home the toad decided to pee
hes loves cant you see??
me and this toad were just meant to be!
we watched movies together all night! 
we planned tomorrow to go outside and fly my kite
i couldn't wait to watch that kite take flight!
we both fell asleep watching spongebob
In the morning we had a plate of corn of cob
and then went outside to fly my kite
we flew that kite to a great  height
the toad just wasn't having as much fun and it just wasn't right
so i took him out for icecream
and on my way back i stepped on something and i heard a scream
i lifted my foot to see my  little toad had taking a little stumble
I had made all of his little bones into a little crumble
I buried him that afternoon
i went home and listened to my favorite toon
i couldn't take the stress anymore
so i opened up my front door
and i ran out into the road
and i ended up looking like my little toad!

Details | Trash Boat Poem

Cat the Dog

Cat is a good old dog
But sometimes he cases my hogs
Cat has been around for a long time
I miss the days when he was in his prime
He used to kill squirels and sometimes my cats
But now he just rips up all my hats
But hes a good old pup
His back has a big old hump
He stinks pretty bad
And he broke his leg just a tad
He completely broke his leg off
Cat smells so bad sometimes he makes me cough
He only has one ear
And i don't even think he can hear
Sometimes he runs out of water so i just give him some beer
last time i did that he ran right into the wall
A cop seen what i did and said it was against he law
Sometimes i get bored and step on his paw
But when I'm asleep he gets me back by chewing on my foot until its raw
Cat is so old he cant barely even walk down the hall
The other day he punched me in the face
So i chocked him out with my shoe lace
Me and cat don't get along anymore
I'm sick and tired of him making my feet sore
He keeps chewing my feet until they hurt at the core
I tried buying him a chew toy but he just punches me in the face.
I should've never bought him that weight set
Cat isn't any ordinary pet
Hes acted strange ever since we first met
Hes probably some odd breed i bet
One time he even flew my friends jet
And when we go fishing he monitors the fishing net
I tried taking him to the vet
But when i came back he knocked out the groomer
I even tried taking him to a pacers game but he choked out boomer
I'm starting to think that cat isn't a very good fella
If you give him a chance he will try to kill ya
I don't know why cat is so mean
whenever i give him a bath he makes a big scene
Sometimes i catch him smoking a cigar
I even lost him and found him drunk at the bar
He's had a good life
One time he stabbed me with a knife
I swear that dog needs a wife
Then maybe he'd be more nice
I wish someone would give him some advice
Oh i forgot to tell you cat carries lice
And i found he was the one that stole my chicken leg
I was so mad at him i sent him to my friend meg
I couldn't look at him for a week
I probably looked like a geek
But i couldn't believe he betrayed me
I was so mad i punched him up against a tree
Hes out to get me cant you see?
Hes so strong one time he beat up Bruce Lee
And then Cat broke my back over his knee
I couldn't walk for a few days
I was so mad i threw him in a tank of sting rays
I bet he can get me back in many ways
But i swear he'll pay
So he better watch himself okay?
Cat isnt a good dog

Details | Trash Boat Poem

My Beautiful Wife

My wife is a piece of junk
I think she is just a punk
Shes a freaking munk
She wont fight
But she will bite
Shes so dang disgusting
and she does so much cussing
I hate that weirdo
She always wheres a stupid bow
She thinks shes pretty bold
The funny thing is, shes only 5 years old