Cat the Dog

Cat is a good old dog
But sometimes he cases my hogs
Cat has been around for a long time
I miss the days when he was in his prime
He used to kill squirels and sometimes my cats
But now he just rips up all my hats
But hes a good old pup
His back has a big old hump
He stinks pretty bad
And he broke his leg just a tad
He completely broke his leg off
Cat smells so bad sometimes he makes me cough
He only has one ear
And i don't even think he can hear
Sometimes he runs out of water so i just give him some beer
last time i did that he ran right into the wall
A cop seen what i did and said it was against he law
Sometimes i get bored and step on his paw
But when I'm asleep he gets me back by chewing on my foot until its raw
Cat is so old he cant barely even walk down the hall
The other day he punched me in the face
So i chocked him out with my shoe lace
Me and cat don't get along anymore
I'm sick and tired of him making my feet sore
He keeps chewing my feet until they hurt at the core
I tried buying him a chew toy but he just punches me in the face.
I should've never bought him that weight set
Cat isn't any ordinary pet
Hes acted strange ever since we first met
Hes probably some odd breed i bet
One time he even flew my friends jet
And when we go fishing he monitors the fishing net
I tried taking him to the vet
But when i came back he knocked out the groomer
I even tried taking him to a pacers game but he choked out boomer
I'm starting to think that cat isn't a very good fella
If you give him a chance he will try to kill ya
I don't know why cat is so mean
whenever i give him a bath he makes a big scene
Sometimes i catch him smoking a cigar
I even lost him and found him drunk at the bar
He's had a good life
One time he stabbed me with a knife
I swear that dog needs a wife
Then maybe he'd be more nice
I wish someone would give him some advice
Oh i forgot to tell you cat carries lice
And i found he was the one that stole my chicken leg
I was so mad at him i sent him to my friend meg
I couldn't look at him for a week
I probably looked like a geek
But i couldn't believe he betrayed me
I was so mad i punched him up against a tree
Hes out to get me cant you see?
Hes so strong one time he beat up Bruce Lee
And then Cat broke my back over his knee
I couldn't walk for a few days
I was so mad i threw him in a tank of sting rays
I bet he can get me back in many ways
But i swear he'll pay
So he better watch himself okay?
Cat isnt a good dog

bridal showerdeathdoghumorfree verse

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.