Funny Wife Poems

The first time you kissed me, it was such a shock,
I literally saw time stop on the old kitchen clock.
But before you accuse me of...

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Although retired and glad to be "job free"
I've still places to go, things to do, people to see...

When I get back home the first 'Order...

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Donna was a second-hand wife to Larry.
Larry always mentioned it to people.
At church, on the street, at a bar.
He thought it was hilarious!
“Slightly used,” he...

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I love her looks and lovely lips,
The light her sweet smile brings,
And how she speaks and sways her hips--
She flits and floats as if with...

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Stunning beauty her face really was!
She was shaped more like a lovely vase.
Never for a one night stand!
Booze brewed my sins in bare hands!
Beer dragged...

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No so funny, man,
Feeding me spam,
Morbidly yours, all right,
More verbs, how blight,
Don't waste your words,
You're beyond absurd,
Negative chaff and chatter,
Really does not matter,
Get over yourself,...

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John did not try hard with his first wife
she was married, he was not
second wife cheated on him
served him right, he deserved that.

third wife was...

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The man married a wife
Who was the love of his life
He was oh so proud
Despite her uni brow
You see true love in his eye...

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In a church where hymns soar high and free,
A mouse embarked on a daring spree,
Up the stockinged leg, it did dare,
Past the congregation's wide-eyed stare.

The...

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This is the wife’s rejoinder to my earlier post – HUSBAND. Of course, both are written with male and female perspectives and are a figment...

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onyun soup a bind that ties

spousey wins pulitzer prize

recipe steep

with onyun weep

so tasty it closes eyes.
...

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in this mug chicken noodles

spousey makes whole caboodles

evry single day

chases colds away

gets me back to my doodles.
...

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I once sported a manly beard,
a beastly beard had I.
But then on the farm, at the crack of dawn,
while my lady cheered,
she chopped it off,...

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while I am sitting here writing  to you 
people are trying to steal 

your car, your house,
your business , your best friends, your reputation,...

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An alien snatched my wife one strange night,
To planet Speed, they took her in flight.
But the alien confessed,
She'd been sorely unimpressed,
So back home, he returned...

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