Funny Wedding Poems

Montague mouse wants to purchase a hat
“Why do you need that,” asked milliner cat

Montague replied, “It’s so that I can marry”
I must wear a nice...

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For example: what if it
had not rained that day

you and I had not sought
shelter in the same cafe

perhaps we would never
have met~ a pot of...

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The crispy crusty bread
Was as lonely as it gets
As handsome as he was
He had no bride to wed

The crispy crusty bread
He tries all that he...

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I used to miss your touch, now your hands feel like claws

I used to melt in your stare, now your eyes come with bristles

I used...

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I once was funny, made most people smile.
Children loved me because they didn't know:
I kept them laughing, yet all of the while,
my heart was aching...

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I went to a church filled with white
Beds of roses scattered in the site
I stepped aside for the dashing bride
Coming down the aisle, a rushing...

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On the first floor of a hotel in Cape Cod
A larger than average lady got on the elevator

She pressed floor number two
Immediately I blurted out...

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My late cousin’s daughter was to get married
at a place some 80 km from their residence,
I was asked to drive her there and I agreed,
it...

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Feelings  

Are they real? 

Sadness and anger sure, 

But love?  

Is it made up? 

Because you are meant to 

Think deep, do you...

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near ritual fire with holy chants,
dressed I sat in my stylish western suit,
day heat reading celsius forty two!

unbearable were tailored woollen pants,
my pouring sweat looked...

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bachelorhoodwinked
by michael r. burch

(a poem about wedlock, or lock->wed)

u
are
charming
& disarming,
but mostly ***ALARMING***
since all my resolve
dissolved!

u
are
chic
as a sheikh's
harem girl in the sheets
but castle's no longer my...

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King of this barn I am said the owl, and he said it in one loud caw.
The other animals began leaving, for they were afraid...

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Weddings used to be solemn.
Reverent.
No one spoke as they entered the church.
It was like a funeral only less flowers.
Super respectful air of silence.
Solemn occasion.
We took...

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You laugh at all my jokes, ‘
even the ones that are not funny.
You listen to my troubles, 
making them your own. 
You know my words,
before...

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PRODUCED WEDDING  FIASCO


If cantaloupe
Could elope
and marry a honey dew melon

What would happen 
If a cabbage out grows the garden
As crabgrass and dandelions rapes the...

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