A Secret Recipe
I have a secret recipe.I bake it in a pan.
I got it from my mother, who had it from her Gran
Her gran was five and forty when she found it in a book.
She baked it on a big black range. She was a wondrous cook.
The book was old and tatty, belonging to her aunt
Who got it from the tally man, he was a handsome gent
The tally man was Irish.The book his mother‘s pride.
He didn’t want to part with it for her spirit was inside
His mother was a spay wife. Her writing it was bold.
She copied down her recipe that never can be told
Aunt Annie loved the tally man, and so became the heir
To the very precious recipe that no one else could share
Until Great granny found it, after auntie died,
but she knew it was a secret and a secret it would bide.
And so it passed on down the line, until it came to me.
I treasure that old tatty book that no one else can see
I’ll leave it to my daughter when I go off to heaven
That precious old and tatty book from eighteen twenty seven.
She was a ball of fluff, and I was allergic
made no difference
for she was alone, helpless,
and I was immediately in love
My daughter had been begging; she was thirteen
We did not agree on everything, but we agreed on this
She was named Munchkin, tiny little kitty cat
We forgot to get her spayed
This was the only time I did not think to spay a pet
She had six babies; there were darling – three blonde, three striped
We had to find them homes
I was reluctant to let them go
I had fallen in love with them too
She had been a wonderful mommy,
But seemed okay with them being gone
after a week or two of meowing
I have never felt so guilty in my life
She was the last pet I forgot to spay.
An husband who wanted to stray
Complained to his wife everyday
But she understood
For the common good
There was just one word and its, "Spay!"
Wings of bat spread on curved moon mystique screen
autumn air rents in howl of goblins green
blue hue of moon pumpkins spay
trick or treat masked children say
awake in weird night for it’s Halloween.
October 21, 2019
Syllable count : 10/10/7/7/10
Checked on howmanysyllables.com
Contest : A New Halloween Inspired Limerick
Sponsor : Tania Kitchin
I am one of those. At one time I had eighteen dogs.
None from the same litter. I neuter and spay my animals.
Here is the thing. I am an elementary school counselor
And I cannot bring children home,
Even though I want to rescue some of them sometimes.
So I stop by the pound if I have had a really bad day
And I adopt a cat, a dog, or a dog and a cat or two cats.
Do you see where I am going with this?
I brought home Happy, Go and Blue the same day, three dogs.
And the next day had to run back to the pound for Lucky.
When they give me "that look" as I leave,
It is on! And Lucky had given me the saddest look ever.
Pretty soon, we had so many heated sheds
And we had roped off so much of the forest with fencing,
It looked like we were running a concentration camp.
Because being a grandma takes precedent we decided to move
Closer to our ten grandchildren.
We bought six acres, and knew we could bring our dogs and cats.
Yes, I have four cats too.
Only two dogs, and a cow were allowed. No more than two.
What? I called everybody. They verified it.
I had three months to find sixteen dogs a home, and I did.
Lucky lived to be twelve, and Blue lived to be eight.
I STUMBLED UPON THIS BY MISTAKE
IT BECAME A REASON FOR ME TO INFORM
THE WORLD ABOUT " THE FOOLS OF HALTRIUM"
A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO'S MOTTO IS
" TRICK'EM: TRICK'EM: TRICK'EM!"
THEY ARE GROUP OF UNSUGGESSFUL ACTORS, COMEDEINS,
ACTRESSES AND " HARDLUCK CAFFERS"
WHO BEFREIND PEOPLE AND FOOL THEM INTO
DOING CRAZY STUNTS, WHILE THEIR
CAMERAS ARE ROLLING.
THESE PEOPLE OFTEN ARE THAN MADE INTO STARS
WHEN THESE PEOPLE SELL THEIR WORK'S
TO BIG MOVIE PRODUCERS, WHO USE THESE
BASIC LIKELYNESS' IN THEIR MOVIES. CUTTING COST.
FOR EXAMPLE, A GUY IS HIRED AT A FABRIC FACTORY
WHEN THE SECRTARY BECOMES ILL, HE'S ASKED TO
SIT IN FOR THE WOMAN.
HE'S GIVEN A SCRIPT AND TOLD TO CALL EACH PERSON
ON THE ORDER, AND WARN THEM OF THE FUNGUS GROWING ON
THEIR ROOFS, AND HOW THE NEW PRODUCT CALLED" BLEEP-AHROLL"
CAN REMOVE THE FUNGUS CAUSED BY WILDDOGS AND HUMID AIR.
HE SENDS A GUY OUT TO INSPECT THE ROOF AND SHOWS THE PEOPLE THE RESULT OF RISING TEMEPURES AND THE EFFECTS OF TOXIC AND DOGS, WHO CREATE FUNGUS THAT RISES IN THE AIR AND SETTLES ON THE ROOF.
HE GIVES THEM AN OITMENT TO PUT ON THEIR DOGS AND A CHEMICAL TO SPAY ON THEIR ROOFS. ITS A SHAM HONEY !
May Day is Lei Day
Where Hawaiian flowers grow
May Day is Pay Day
In places that I know
May Day is Play Day
In places where I go
May Day is Weigh Day
For folks with vertigo
May Day is Clay Day
For potters in the know
May Day is Prey Day
For those who seek a beau
May Day is Yea Day
In flagrante delicto
May Day is Gay Day
For fans of ********
May Day is Spay Day
For cads who come and go
May Day is Stray Day
For herds of buffalo
May Day is Sleigh Day
Among the Eskimo
(M'aidez is Crochet Day
for rural Idaho)
May Day is Nay Day
For those with lawns to mow.
The Indian Ocean is mean and deep
And careless sailing often death doth reap
It’s wild and vast a lonesome place to be
Needing to ply these waters has no glee
Angry relentless waves tall meters high
And troughs below seem to hide sails from sky
There’s no release from swirling spay and foam
Steersman needs lion’s heart to bring us home
Course is set by compass, not by sextant
Person who sent us here has a hellish bent.
If ever you walk Saint de Vale’s sand beach
and see the seagulls winging low the waves,
or feel the rushing cold surf break and reach
your feet then you’ll smell ginger close to caves.
Cliffs hold back surging waters white with foam
their whitecap spay e’er hiding caves large holes,
where pirate Jean La Feet hid gold in dome
within the maze that’s taken many souls.
La Feet had plundered wide the Spanish Main
his treasures placed in secret chamber place,
and woe comes yea to those who seek in vain
to find the passage holding old coins’ case.
The beach is pleasant walking every day.
Think nay to enter gold coins water way.
My hands spade the shovel - spay the rooted grave.
Earth is impassive. Why won’t life relent?
The silver blades south for the black plastic bag
swallowed by west winds, wrapped in a blanket
that is olive green. Under the sun’s harrowing husk
I peel away the last bit of crust yet unpeeled.
Pink scab, raw, refusing to heal. Dusk is dawn, hushed -
the garden takes back what the plate glass revealed.
There is no breeze now as I sit down to write
in my black plastic chair once taken from me
by a black plastic bag. No peaceful leaves blow
as I swallow remains of what remains of night
while the lumbering bough climbs down from a tree
and sees through the window a fragmented shadow.
I'm hungry, feed me, what you say?
You've had your can of food today.
Now I've got to go work for pay.
Won't get your way! won't get your way!
Around the house you romp and spray
and make a mess the whole long day.
A trip to vet's to have a spay,
without delay, without delay!
You're home again and not so gay;
for you a nice tuna filet.
No more cat fights, you'll no more stray.
I had my way! I had my way!
Come over here, you must obey,
and we'll engage in some horse play.
we're making definite headway.
I did betray! I did betray!
Tomorrow is my next work day;
you'll miss me lots while I'm away,
but all your costs I must defray.
It is Monday! It is Monday!
9/2/16
THE ROHINGYA OF MYMMAR
Nzongi Mwero
We are the Rohingya of Mymmar not spay,
A Nation deprived of its name many people say,
A Nation deprived of its language and the religion the Buddha’s say,
Whenever you look from the first to the end of May,
Nobody their problems could say.
Oh, therefore you would see a bleeding wound,
Emitting from a crying heart and mind,
In our blood –shot tearful eyes surround,
How we are drowned left along the sea round.
In the pool of our sweat and tears,
In the pool of our gushing blood the world hears,
We need the help of soothing hands dears,
That would make us condition bears.
We are not allowed to renounce our culture,
Be our language which is nature,
Be our religion and we are mature,
Nor our ethnicity and agriculture.
Just a word the Rohingya are oppressed,
Otherwise tormented,
In Mymmar are cursed,
And finally killed.
No education for our kids,
No food to feed,
No employment we are allowed,
And in Mymmar no place to hide,
Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand we ride.
A house full of naughty furry babies wondering around
Your gross little messy surprises many times found
Chasing and fighting, then peeing all over the floor
So many things to get into, so many piss places to explore
Knocking things over and scratching things up
Growling, snarling and hissing and causing disrupt
Running amuck and leaving a wake of destruction
Now you are all spay, finally no more reproduction!
If big brother were watching me
just think how insanely bored he’d be.
But never the less, I must confess,
I have been spied on ruthlessly.
Not one, but four pair of eyes observe,
disapproving that I have the nerve
to walk on the deck they’ve commandeered.
I am a monster to be feared.
They feed on the chow that I provide,
this creature whom they can’t abide.
Though their own mother approves of me,
I take one step and they all flee.
I don’t know why they’re so afraid.
Is there some subtle hint I’ve made
that if into my hands they get
I’ll spay or neuter the whole quartet?
I get myself up on Saturday at 2:30.
That's AM not PM. I get up very early.
I set up camp where my friends come to greet me.
One cat arrives, then there are five and before you know it there's thirty.
They all begin to meow, "Feed Me! Feed Me!,"
but first I open the door to my animal carrier which can house three cats very comfortably.
More times than none I don't even put food inside. They go in willingly out of curiosity,
then I lock them inside and go for a ride to my local veterinary.
After a routine operation, I return them to their location and then I set them free.
In my neighborhood I'm known as The Animal Rescuer. I Capture, Spay and Release
and I'll help any animal that I come across who happens to be in desperate need.
Oh yes, and by the way
I'm also up at 2:30 am to do the same thing again on Sunday.
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