Slapping Poems | Examples


Premium Member Dining With Dysfunction

Mother asked her big brother to pass the sugar;

big brother ruined it by splashing on liquor;

father rued spilt liquor by throwing his jigger

that hit sister who lit an elbow hard slammer

straight into the hand of their rare guest and butcher;

butcher stood to secure a full-face slap on her;

slap missed, striking their napping, fat cat to a blurred

flying fur on shriek tour that dog crashed with claws bore;

clawed dog wailed and bailed, dragging tail out wee dog door

where he ran to distance pain until a looper

stopped his scooter – close by was one giant cougar;

too pooped to care, tired dog flopped right then and right there;

dog closed eyes, cougar cleared throat, then croaked, ‘Hey, Lassie,

are you insanely blind to cougar claw lugers?’;

dog moaned, ‘A quick cougar corker beats home murder.’
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member There's a Bloke In This Cafe Slapping His Face

he's been there doing that for 
about twenty minutes

it's both palms on both 
face pastries 

he was here the other day 
laptop in front of him

bopping and biffing
like in a boat race

chronic stress? enervation?
or giving the epidermis

something to think about
sod retinoids and clarins 

maybe the brain is fusty
needs a few yawns too

like the sound of an alaskan 
salmon against sham praise

is this the future? when i'm gone
on buses, trains, offices

a democratic spanking


Premium Member Slapping Eight People At Once

If I was an octopus I could slap eight people at once
Whatta creative mind I have, just realized it last month
Might partly be my diet
More people should try it
Might lose friends but think of how peaceful you'd become
Form: Limerick

Premium Member Slapping the Witch At Midnight

it loves me
it loves me not
this ball of id and fiery snot

bleet bleet bleet
the runt of life 
this shallow sheep
stomping Gossomer mice.
Eating shadows keeping score
a sagging Teet 
a dripping bore.
The game is up, the pinball tilts
this tired game of slag and silt.

It loves me 
It loves me not
this ball of id and fiery snot.

Slapping the Free Press's Face On First Lady's Day

Red thier Hips, Taxsation without representation, Invited for
dinner, How dare you, remenber for her children,  daughter
outlaw in west, Ride  them cowboys ride, deep is their voice
The rangers ride high and fast  Ten commanments out of
the courtroom no prayer the babies cries in 1965,  Mothers transference
in the mirror once again, remenber mothers day, the geen green
grass of home in valley of cold cold months of the government
the summer and fall and winter warm in 2006 some say that
they have seen angels in the warmed of their arms laids a creator. 
fourth of July to sum is his brithday we all ready have a lunch.
Blast and all. Oil bills cheat, in Libertys arms in the stars well
ones out.  By burning bush of Moses
Form: Ballad


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