Short Funning Poems

T-ball
     By Dane Smith-Johnsen

Baseball day, the t-ball way
Was funning in the sun.
Where parents’ shouts
Cheered away doubts.
And little boys had fun....

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Krack-ack-rack fleeing,
				 tree limb limb
					swinging

Bank bank dip slipping, tail flipping, pout snout

Soft mud ooze soothing,
				  hippo sun funning

Soft eyes	     scanning, 		  flatboat...

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I saw surreal scenes at the mall:
unhinged shoppers in a hot brawl,
a tired Santa running
away--I'm not funning!--
pursued by kids starting to squall.

I finished my shopping and fled.
The visions that danced in my head
were sugarplums? No way!
So ended my rough day.
I rushed home and went right to bed.

November 30, 2018, entered in Carolyn Devonshire's Christmas 
Limericks Contest...

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THE 30s – RUBBER GUN DAYS

“Let’s play rubber guns!
Water guns will cost too much”
This was the 30s cheap fun

The makings were free
Just get an old inner tube
Cut it in strips don’t you see

Now fashion a gun
From a wooden orange crate,
A clothespin trigger, and done!

Red Rider?    Why not?
Bb guns were dangerous –
Put out eyes, and cost a lot

Game Boy?    Not for me
Give me those rubber gun days
The kids outdoors funning free...

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Women once loved me because I was a hunk.
But that ended after I was sprayed by a skunk.
I've taken eleven showers and I still smell.
Needless to say my love life isn't going well.
This stench is as bad as that car on Seinfeld.
All of the ladies run who I've held.
I would like to go back to the good old days.
But when people take a sniff, they run away.
I have some advice for you and I'm not funning.
If you see a skunk, you'd better start running.

(THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM)...

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