Short Baseball Bat Poems

the Wuhan bat
we've already seen quite enough of that
the Baseball bat, sadly sequestered,
closeted now, we cannot bear to look, it festered....

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W. R. Potter
Brother from another mother
Fellow baseball bat slugger
Could outhit me
Could outspit me
Could outwit me
Could outdrink me
Couldn't outlive me...

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Mark Reynolds, Arizona Diamondback.
With a baseball bat, you take a healthy whack.
You can hit home runs without a doubt.
Why is it so many times you strike out?...

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A beastly man and his wife had a spat
The savage hit me with a baseball bat
What a despicable jerk
But my bowl and spigot work
Still capable of holding water... splat!
...

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I knew a man with a sailors hat
Fat and chubby, smelled like a rat
         kissed him out of stupidity,
         now he's down on one knee,
Somebody give me a baseball bat!

6-4-12...

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If I could get ahold of one thing 
At one time
Than I'd be okay.
But life is a blizzard.
The idea of holding anything,
Like wearing water as a hat.
You might as well be a baseball bat....

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Baseball Glove on gloves
Baseball bat, too cold to hold
Hurry, SPRING, Hurry

Inspired by Carol Brown’s “WAITING  FOR  SPRING “  Contest
Dedicated to the 2010 World Series Champions “Boston Red Sox”...

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Pitty Pat the wonder cat
Ate more than a gutter rat
A wonder but really fat
Beaten with a baseball bat

Now there's no more Pitty Pat
I wonder wonder where she's at
Under ground or in a vat
Or eaten by that gutter rat...

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Take me out to the kill people game
Turn me loose on the crowd
Give me some kidneys and backs to crack
I don't care who it is I attack
Let me bash, bash, bash as they scream loud
If they don't die it's a shame
Cuz it's one, two, three strikes you're dead
In the old kill people game....

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I held her naked in exhausted arms
Just before my lights went out
After passionately sampling her woman’s charms
Just before my lights went out

The beautiful wife of my best friend
A sin without a doubt
Who I saw approaching with a baseball bat
Just before my lights went out...

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How did you grow from a shrimp 
on your first day of Kindergarten,
To now a handsome young man, 
three inches taller than me?
Your Winnie the Pooh phone replaced 
by a baseball bat.
You now standing at second base?
Grandma misses hugging you.
And kissing your sweet, kindergarten face!

5/25/2019
8:45pm PST...

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Magic Tragic David Blaine 
Goodwill, gallant, Grade A G.I. Jane
Gorgeous, guarding, germane, Great Dane
Bubba borrowed Brad’s baseball bat 
Hit him harshly hard in the head  
Insane in the brain 
Like being high on sugar cane 
To dilute the pain 
Hey, it may sound lame 
But who’s to blame 
Not everyone’s the same...

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I'm feeling mentally unstable
Apparently I just lost my cable
Television done gone on the fritz
Gonna' miss my Monday Night blitz
Telephone dead as a doornail
Can't check my freekin' email!
This service ain't nothin' but trash!
Guess I'll go to the bar and get smashed
What's this? It's back on? How 'bout that?
Guess I won't need this baseball bat......

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To build the perfect mousetrap
You must be smarter than the mouse
They're such clever little rodents
They could rule most any house

It may take a bit more effort
Than placing cheese atop a trap
With some imagination
You can do it in a snap

I wouldn't recommend a gun 
Or even a baseball bat
But if everything else fails
You should get yourself a cat...

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Somewhere



Somewhere there’s a baseball
Shivering in the cold

Somewhere there’s a baseball glove
Afraid of growing old.

Somewhere there’s a baseball bat
Some weary cleats and sweat stained hat.

Somewhere there’s a baseball field
Beneath snow’s winter fall

Somewhere dreaming children
Hear the umpire shout

“Play Ball”.



John G. Lawless...

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I am bored with math.
Two plus two always equals four.
Why can't it equal an ice cream cone
Or a trip to the candy store?

Four plus four always equals eight-
Never a video game,
Or a Disneyland vacation.
No, the answer's e'er the same!

One times one always equals one.
Where's the fun in that?
I'd love to see the answer be
A brand new baseball bat!

by Cherie Durbin...

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Somewhere there’s a baseball
Shivering in the cold

Somewhere there’s a baseball glove
Afraid of growing old.

Somewhere there’s a baseball bat
Some weary cleats - sweat stained hat.

Somewhere there’s a baseball field
Beneath snow’s winter fall

Somewhere dreaming children
Hear the umpire shout

“Play Ball”.



John G. Lawless



submitted to – Batter Up – Poetry Contest
sponsor – Debbie Guzzi...

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Dream makers

 Through grimy windows, I can see
Santa and his elves blowing
bubbles, goblets and vases heat
and rolled up sleeves

Outside, large flakes of snow
dissolve on asphalt.

From the bar next door
red shadows and empty music leaked
out and into the gutter.
Hard smiles, and much wine, nicotine tongues
meet experienced lips.

Behind the bar a baseball bat,
the cheap scent and fake rings,
loneliness dances with greed....

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As I studied long for my last exam,
I kept drifting off to happy land.
So I had to think of a fool proof plan,
to keep me studying for my last exam.
So I wrote a note for anyone’s hand,
it reads like this, my devious plan.

If I fall asleep,
 before I finish this.

Will you wake me up,
  with a baseball bat?

 If, I fall asleep,
     If . . I, fall asleep,
        If . . .  I . . fall, asleep
            before I . . . finish, this....

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A poem, a poem, just to write a poem
Without a rhyme or reason
Perhaps to just for the season
Or simply for the sake of many 
That would like to read a poem
It doesn't have to be a long one
Just something with a sound
Yes that's it something with a sound
A boom boom or a rata tat tat
All after the swing of a baseball bat
Or the sound of thunder 
That follows a lightning strike
A poem of sound is what it will be
Made from the mind of me....

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Once upon a time there were two jesters,
they didn’t survive but produced the storm;
Wildcats need to roam and will not reform 
adding their potency to disasters;

Crazy to caress a wild tornado 
try to level it to fall and lay flat;
As lethal as a swinging baseball bat 
running through the streets a desperado; 

Nothing felt better than a combined purr,
cluster bombs exploding with a climax;
Pranksters prowl along undiscovered tracks,
and the madness came tumbling after....

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