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The lid on panic - theme of emotional distress -
I'm dropped in the ocean awaiting a breath
New fallen snow covering surely imminent death
Fallen from grace by being lost in despair
Afraid to scream for fear what else lies there
Gritting my teeth to keep from coming undone
Miss too much of my life in fight or flight run
I'm bolted into the trap with no starting gun
Told to face up to facts without the kindness of stun
I'm too tired to cope, is that what I wrote?
Sat here alone invisible hands on my throat
Unable to sleep as I'm the monster I fear
I'm choking, I'm choking, I'm choking it's clear
The quiet of this room should soothe this state
But I'm a rerun of lives with inevitable fate
Sleep is withheld for fear I'll revive
Question kind word roulette as I watch spinning scythe
Please slit my throat and let out the ache
I need some peace from the hell I'm told I create
I can't stand the 'love' of those aware of my pain
I can't stand myself going through it again
I'm so frightened I'll die from this moment of gloom
The air disappears as I hide in this tomb
No final rest if I died feeling this way
I have to break free I must not delay
Yet my strength pools at the back of my skull
Dislodged from it's path by the constant push pull
My pain has drifted from throat to chest
I'm moving through stages I must rush, take a breath
The air is cool as it travels within
My heart beats louder with deafening din
I'm incredibly scared, debilitatingly so
I'm not sure of anything, I don't know, I don't know
Suck the air from my lungs, switch off my head
I only wish to be paused, I don't wish to be dead
It's melodramatic, all I try to keep to myself
Perhaps it's nothing external just poor mental health
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