My world shattered in May when my youngest son
took his own life after a long struggle with mental illness
I tried to help him so many times, but it seemed,
the more I tried, the more he pulled away
I had to come to the conclusion that it was not my struggle
and live my own life, while letting him know that I was there
to help when needed, I had to keep going forward in my
own life and find a purpose for myself while he lived his
When my world shattered, I gathered as many pieces as I could
and started to rebuild my world, and I noticed there were some
parts that would not fit in my new life and that's okay,
I just needed to keep moving forward and recognize that I am different
It is so hard at times to realize that I am leaving the life with my son
in it behind, but I will never forget him and will love him with a mama's
unconditional love forever, and I do look forward to the day that
I will see him again, whole, healed, and in a good place
You're one of the reasons why the smile sees
You're stare is the one who gives me peace
Holding hands while the silent meet
The ambience is so light cause you're one of the pieces
The unplanned is better than the planned
You're such a beautiful, unexpected bond
The invisible string gets connected in the hand
The eyes meet - talk and understand
Every time we're together, our laughter aligns,
We play and do silly things most nights.
The jokes we share, the little stuff too,
All are proof of the love I feel for you.
There’s comfort and peace with you by my side,
No overthinking, no worries to hide.
You hold my hand, your eyes give me rest,
Your smile makes my heart feel truly blessed
Peace is in pieces everywhere
like glass teeth in a child’s mouth,
like frostbitten prayers in a trench,
like treaties signed in blood
then buried beneath pipelines.
Peace is in pieces everywhere
used to build a mosaic of mouths
used to patch the silence between sirens,
like a hymn humming through bullet holes
then pressed into seams of alliteration.
Peace is in pieces everywhere
we gather them to sow in salted soil.
we collect them from bomb shells
like pearls pried from shrapnel’s jaw,
then string them into rosaries of rupture.
Peace is in pieces everywhere
It cuts through the hand that holds it
It tears when passed between nations,
It floats like a paper dove
then dropped like a ballot no one counts.
You're on top, so, you think you've got 'em,
But, you don't understand, boxing's pugilistic ways.
Then, you're dropped, you hit rock-bottom,
They say, Hey Punchy, who carries your luggage these days?
You won, cuz, you knew you were, "The One,"
Now, you've got scars, broken bones that...never really healed.
With no more, "Glory Days," in the sun,
It's December, can't remember, your fate is ever sealed!
Two Pieces of Wood
From trees that grew somewhere
Cut down and then sawn
A carpenter chose two pieces of wood
One short and one long.
He joined them together
In the shape of a cross
For another good carpenter
Whose life would be lost.
On that cross, crucified,
Jesus, nailed hands and feet
Our precious Saviour,
Crucifixion complete.
“Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2
Chess Ahoy!
Upon an ivory-blue
ocean, oil pastel paints
the canvas
aboard the deck floats, buoyed
surfing foamy shores
a blurred realism
hoarding its cargo—
cobalt sea glass
squares in place,
chiseled chess pieces
ride the tide
ebbing and flowing
Sent are your gallant knights
lowly pawns
the King decrees—
God save the Queen!
I can feel my heart
like a sponge having the fluids squeezed out of it
held in a tight grip that does not relent
the breaths I take are small
my chest is too compressed
I am broken into pieces, fragmented
every piece different part of me
trying to put myself back together
but there are pieces I just cannot pick up
when I do they cut me and I bleed
How can I pick up the other pieces if I let them cut me
The cracks these pieces form when I put them together,
they make my surface rough
I am always aware that I am not in one piece
and the holes left by the pieces I cannot bring myself to pick up
will always remind me how incomplete I am
no matter how much I try
what's left is left, and I will always be a broken vessel.
I'm not sayin you don't have a right
to feel the way you do,
but have you considered every avenue,
every stream that lines information directly to you?
Have you considered perspective?
That what appears to be truth could be, in actuality, subjective -
effective truth hidden behind piercing offensive lies?
Have you considered that life is like a puzzle,
and every piece you put together creates a picture of its own.
And that picture is all you can see
for now
it's all you can believe in
for now
until you find another piece that creates a new picture.
And so the pattern continues,
until someday your eyes can view the entirety of each puzzle piece.
And THAT is
peace
is understanding,
is seeing the whole picture.
So let us all be believers in building puzzles,
and arise as continual seekers of all the pieces
for peace
In fragments and tatters, in pieces and shards, scattered by the winds of time,
I gather them carefully, even if they hurt me, my fingers bleed, but I do not stop,
These precious fragments, these bitter shards, these tattered edges and broken tears,
I collect them with longing, refusing to let them fall into oblivion,
Each piece carries with it a story, an echo of what once was,
A puzzle of lost memories, a constellation of desires and regrets,
I cannot let them be lost in the void, to dissolve into the silence of forgetting,
For they are part of me, of who I was and who I am now,
I carve a path through the shadows of the past, through the ruins of shattered dreams,
I bend down to gather what remains, to weave again the tapestry of my life,
With each shard and each tatter, I build a new beginning,
I refuse to give up, to surrender to despair, for in these fragments lie the seeds of hope.
Exchanging my memories for value,
Last week, I visited a pawn shop and pawned my memories.
With each piece, I attempt to disregard the memories.
The most significant item was the wedding ring.
His face appeared before me as we stood
before the judge, exchanging vows that were not upheld.
She attempted to remove the baby ring that no longer fit her.
During her teething period,
I observed her without her expressing any emotions.
I handed the ring over to the cashier, pawning memories I said to him
A gold necklace, the details of its history are unclear, but it is made of gold.
After signing the paperwork, I felt a sense of relief, lightness, and detachment
Although my silver bracelets did not hold significant monetary value, they were of immense sentimental importance to me.
To exchange my memories for value,
It was not as difficult as I had anticipated,
They were simply resting in the jewelry box, awaiting discovery.
Goodbye, my shiny piece of happiness.
Little pieces of scribbled paper
On the desk all around me
Some of them I was reading later
Some words I can’t properly see
Pen didn’t write well as usual
Some letters are hard to make out
Not that I felt it was crucial
But I had to learn what it’s about
You were telling the news of your world
And I would write down after you
Some unfamiliar word I’ve heard
Then we’d look up together what new
Does it tell or it’s the same meaning
As always it used to be
Little pieces of paper now a memory thing
When I go, let them burn with me.
Resting in pieces,
A being releases,
Peace into each's,
Field of resistance.
Bringing the assistance,
Needed in Its existence.
Closing the distance,
Between fear and love,
Words coming from above,
Loving who you are.
You were never far,
From where you're meant to be,
A Creator with a reality.
A reflection of me,
Part of the Source,
A guide on the course,
Keeping you safe,
While you push with force,
Of course you have free will,
Some actions make you ill,
And some help climb the hill,
Into Loves arms,
You lucky charms,
Little pieces of energy,
Meant to live peacefully,
Resting your hearts in divinity.
Resting in pieces,
A being releases,
Peace into each's,
Field of resistance.
Bringing the assistance,
Needed in Its existence.
Closing the distance,
Between fear and love,
Words coming from above,
Loving who you are.
You were never far,
From where you're meant to be,
A Creator with a reality.
A reflection of me,
Part of the Source,
The guide on the course,
Keeping you safe,
While you push with force,
Of course you have free will,
Some actions make you ill,
And some help climb the hill,
Into Loves arms,
You lucky charms,
Little pieces of energy,
Meant to live peacefully,
Resting Their hearts in divinity.
2025.2.19.
My new piece of musics.
November last year,
I decided to play songs in different language.
Which I never done before,
I managed to do one piece per week.
After six weeks, some things happened,
The piano was taken away for tuning,
Then, the festive seasons arriving,
One thing after another,
I did not have any chance to play any music properly.
Then, after the New Year's celebrations ended,
I determined to play the 7th song,
By now, seven weeks have gone,
I still could not play it well.
There were still lot of songs,
I remembered from decades ago,
I still wanted to play them.
Probably, at the moment, I was too emotional,
I really needed to settle.
I had chances to post my poems,
That was what I wanted.
That should not stop me from playing music.
Has it got anything to do with the new projects?
Yes, they were very challenging,
But when I set mind to do it.
I decided to complete it before losing my visions.
I gather my fragments like stars in the night,
Each shard holds a memory, dimmed but still bright.
Some pieces I cherish, some I let go—
The weight of their presence is no longer in tow.
With patience and purpose, I forge something new,
Not quite what I was, but steadfast and true.
Each crack tells a story of falling and rise,
Each mend makes me stronger, each break makes me wise.
My edges are different, some smooth and some raw,
But this is my beauty, my strength, and my law:
That breaking is not the ending, but chance to begin—
To build something stronger from all that has been.
Related Poems