London Limerick Poems

There’s too little in life to bestow boon,
So much pain to rob us the warmth of noon,
So, to inject some fun,
Warmth to winter’s dull sun,
To...

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London's expensive new bread
Hokkaido Milk Loaf they said
but for ready sliced
a tenth of the price
I'll have Blackpool Milk Roll instead!...

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There was an old lady from London,
Who had a son called Brandon,
He travelled to the moon,
Came back on a noon,
With an alien friend called Mystidon.



November...

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We know that the English are rightly vexed
Queen Mary we bought; London Bridge annexed
Big Ben's up for bidding
So's the Thames, we aren't kidding
Then London and...

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In London, a current affair
Is chilling the hot summer air
An old folio 
Reveals polio
Is adding new woes to healthcare!...

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There's a cockney name Terry, loves to joke
Nitro, his cat is   easy to provoke 
Nitro slept under the chair.
Terry in his lion's lair...

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Moon dancing in Trafalgar Square
When pigeon poop* soared through the air
It splattered around
Without touching ground
But no one had a facemask spare . . . ....

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There once was a lady from London
Whose blouse inadvertently came undone
Out popped this guy
With two dark brown eyes
And a jolly jiggle, dum-dee-um-dum...

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There is an old scribbler from Southwark*
Who’s poetry undoubtedly sucks.
	She couldn’t pronounce ‘poem’,
	‘Cause she rhymed it with ‘home’.
Ain’t posh enough, innit, so she’s stuck!



...

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There is a complete lockdown in London today
I wish this pandemic would go away
I have penned many verses
Some of them containing curses
I must try to...

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What says London more than this
The Red Telephone Booth can't be missed
On a walking tour
Nothing grabs you more
Says London like Big Ben and the British...

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There was a lass in Chinatown
Who sold her shadow for a crown
The buyer said,
"We must be wed!
Its pouring rain and you could drown!"...

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There was an orange tanned douchebag called Trump

		Playing hero on a bicycle pump

			When inflating his Ego

				Before sorting the Lego

		The great wall crushed with a flatulent...

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A girl in Soho named Millie
Was hanging around for Willy
John Dough came along
But something was wrong -
Trust Millie to Piccadilly!...

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Britainers have no idea of distance
Ontario to B.C. is just a hop, skip and a dance
About 3,000 miles
London to Aberdeen 450 miles
Holy crap, no chance...

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