In my youth girls would sigh, your teeth are so bright
Now, like the stars, they come out at night
Once cavalier narcissistic
I have grown much more realistic
As a witty old genius, I'm an eternal delight
Lilly And Billy
Street cat Billy's spongy scraggly and cool
So, so edgy-sik, he's a grunge-dusky jewel
House cat Lily purrs he's so fine
Billy scoffs just get in line
But he knows deep down he'll gladly play the fool
—Robert Gorelick
Fools rush in when Lily the feline purrs
The alluring cat with enticing curves
Yet it’s only Billy
Who sends Lily silly
The one for whom Lily's little heart swerves
—Beryl Edmunds
Star-Crossed Cat Love
A domestic Manx, hopes torn stream and tossed
Pines and purrs for a stray cat so very lost
Their souls ache with delight
Through the screen door at night
A true love forbidden at a heartbreaking cost
He said it, it's true, this man never lies
They've been cooking our pets right before our eyes
A German shepherd pie?
A Persian cat on rye?
You heathen Haitians, there's really no surprise!
A cat on April Fools’, sleek and cool,
Found itself in a rather wet duel.
With a splash and a splosh,
In a fishbowl, it did wash,
Proving even a feline can be a fool!
Did ever I tell you, sweetie,
About my grandpa Tweety?
See how you feel
In a cage, you heel,
While I'm off in Tahiti!
A poet once tried to rhyme “turmeric”:
he ate ten big jars, and then murmured “Ick!”
His taste buds murdered,
poor dear old Bernard
bolted up three flights of stairs to be sick.
When I do not read I fall sick
And it might even last for a week,
If you see me so
Don't worry, just go
And get me a naughty Limerick.
A Lovelorn Lad From Camaron
A lovelorn lad from Camaron
pledged his darling the earth and the moon
When she demanded them now
along with a cow
He fled to the nearest saloon
The Angry Chef
A seafood chef near the golden gate
Is constantly mean and irate
Punching the trout
Kicking carp all about
Blaming fish for their sorry fate
Confused Dachshund
There's a dachshund from Key Biscay
saving ice cubes for a sweltery day
He buries them deep
hoping they'll keep
and wonders how they get away
There once was a known lady of vice
Who charged for her moist pie by the slice
Famous men would holler
Down many a dollar
To taste the infamous Heidi Fleiss