Funny Holiday Poems

I went on holiday
so I thought I’d pack
I put in my head
I’d be needing that

I packed my arm
because where’s the harm

so too my toes 
not...

Read More

there is a place at at at
it is by by by
which is near near near
not too far from from from
you can get there via via...

Read More

All I asked for was a platonic kiss
but Cupid, he wanted much more than this
	He said, "Get in the groove
	Show her your best move!
For if...

Read More

“Hey Cupid, hollered the Saint,
bringing me couples, ya ain’t!”
	Cupid answered, “So what?
	Ya just get what ya got.
Don’t mix prayer with complaint.”...

Read More

Corny, the scarecrow,
Was a fun and playful soul,
Stuffed with corn shucks,
And anchored to a long pole.

Corny, the scarecrow,
Is a creepy, daunting sort,
Made of last year’s...

Read More

She tried cooking a turkey
On Thanksgiving Day but
That funny turkey wanted to play 
So, he opened up the oven door
Then leaped out onto the floor
He...

Read More

Santa Claus hired a dragon, Donnie Draco
to bring shy elves out of their cocoons;
he trains them to deliver the presents,
as meeting humans for them, is...

Read More

Past the salad fields of green,
With ciders flowing in between,
An island sits though out a-ways,
Of candy from the holidays.

They’re thrown away and tossed aside,
Without a...

Read More

There once was a young girl named Flo.
She liked holidays quiet and slow.
	But Jolly Saint Nick,
	well, he came too quick
and poor Flo was left to...

Read More

For Christmas I bought you a mustang, with dice hung from the mirror.
  But the IRS came and took it away and gave it...

Read More

Officer please, I respect the police
Please give me a warning and my release.
Who knew a red headlight’s illegal?
Dear Santa said "light it, it's legal!"
Yo officer,...

Read More

Sally sent her Holiday Cards to all
May Christmas and New Year's Day be a ball
Let there be more money
Let there be more honey
She kept one...

Read More

She opened her gifts on Christmas morn
Beneath the paper, a gift she’d scorn
Lacey Panties unflawed
She thought, "what a tightwad!"
Panties in a wad since they’d been...

Read More

planned once-in-a lifetime fab holiday, 
                   Suzie...

Read More

Here’s to Thanksgiving and to you
have fun, eat up, and give thanks too
	big, swollen tummies
	result of yummies
I’m just hoping that you won’t spew!...

Read More