'Twas The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas at my house when I heard a noise I knew wasn't a mouse. My son was fast asleep, safe in his bed; through his window, I saw a flash of red. I thought raccoons were causing this uproar, I know what they're like; I've heard them before. Tipping over garbage cans, they're a pest; wanting to see for myself, I got dressed. No one was stirring, so I went to see what made enough noise to awaken me. I grabbed a flashlight and headed outside; then I slipped, landing square on my backside. Let me tell you, I wasn't in a good mood, and that fall didn't improve my attitude. On my roof, I saw reindeer and a sled; I didn't find raccoons, but Santa instead. And Rudolph's shiny nose was all aglow causing the red reflection on the snow. Santa winked, then disappeared from my sight, believe me, I'll never forget that night. My wife wouldn't listen to a word I said, stating that I probably hit my head. But, as I was getting up from my fall, I swear I heard, "Merry Christmas to all."