Sorry Funny Poems

A friend said, rather smugly,
you can't be "pretty ugly";
and where is the good,
and what is the likelihood
of one being "clearly misunderstood"?

An expression he's also dismissing
(or...

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The scuffling duo sparred in the park
Their screams and shouts so very marked
A bag was clutched in the woman's hand
A man had grabbed it while...

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You can’t defeat me!
You can’t stop my crimes!
I’ll someday get it right, you see,
I’ll even do it speaking rhymes.

I can rob a bank.
I can end...

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Miss piglet is at it again,
her blonde wigs, here we go,
her jealousy it always shows.

Her clothes are tight,
her lashes are glued, 
she loves to fight...

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     Pardon me, is that your toe 
        I just had nowhere else to...

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Finally, my blood began to coagulate. 
I counted up my fingers, and found I had eight; 
And so, I'm sorry to say, for me it's...

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“Do you mind if I take this seat youngster?” the old fart said with a smile. He could not. The seat in question was reserved...

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It's because of the bacon.

Yeah, it looks good on the menu, sitting there at the rim of the plate. Glistening. Archetypally ridged and ruffled. Positioned...

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The sudden eighties music craze
had gone beyond the norm
the local supermarket
was swept along by the storm
as more and more of the shoppers
joined in with the...

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Wait a minute, there's a little boy in a airplane his brain has a lot of pain.

A man wash with  hair with shampoo then...

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Resolutions for the year,
Does anybody keep them? 
But just for kicks
I'll make myself a list then . . .

Be up by seven - no -...

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What’s a lovely girl like you doing in a dump like this.
I own it.
That course I took is working well.
Was that the diplomatic course.
It was,...

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To Ohm it may concern,

Please volt in the upcoming electrons.  Currently Watts is sparking some interest by generating some positive juice, while Joules is...

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Rants do not make great songs
Rosanne Barr I am sorry to say
not so great in a thong
when you sell no tickets
you have no show

Unless you...

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Maybe tomorrow is too late
tell me today...who is he?
the one who robbed a piece of me
part of my life that it will never come back.
...

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