Football Funny Poems

It gets kind of crazy living with 3 young boys, there’s always a mess and there’s constant noise.
Their mouths constantly running, their little legs too;...

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A is for Australia, full of weird beasts,
Where even the cute ones can bite you at least.

B is for Brazil, where football is life,
And people...

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Edgar my dear 
Why do you have that spear 
Is that your plan?
When in a jam? 
Scare the bloody Kansas City yellow and red 
When...

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In the liveliest REM stage of his night 
Bert beholds an unusual sight.
A troupe of pink elephants sound a trumpet blast 
Then stomp united towards...

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Trinity Street, Bolton,
it was Jack and Jaya’s first date,
Jack had got there early,
worried he’d be late,
the ticket woman said,
to head for platform two,
“you’ll have to...

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coffee in a football mug

join us as we chug a lug

no matter the team

bring on some steam

next time bring it in a jug.
...

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We'd so much in common, that was clear from the start,
A match made in heaven, like a chessboard and a dart.
Just that we seem to...

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Yes, nostalgia does exist,
I reminisce on slimmer hips,
As I look at us today,
All I really want to say,
Is, we got fat for football, eh!...

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Soccer ball made from granola, dried grapes
Honey, brown sugar, oats, sunflower seeds
Almonds and chocolate chips form the ball that is fun to
Play the soccer game...

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Today West Ham Went Berserk 
And Bournemouth Lost Its Shirt 
No Need for A Cover 
Since Jason Was Sent Home to His Mother 

So Far,...

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 you perm and prime you shun;
You polish up your own stone;
You talk trash and jive;
You shine of uncertainty;
While yet you continually promise me;
Heller Shelter...

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In baseball, a player may bunt
In football, a player may punt
But in bedroom sports
A lady cavorts
In a frantic search for a runt...

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YES ABOUT A DRESS

El, please come shopping with me today,
He knew she would ask him anyway,
Sure Honey, he immediately lit
A cigarette, we’ll leave in a...

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The older woman suddenly beams
When the young man says they are his dream
Thinking he's a fan
She flashes her cans
But his T-shirt reads, 'Cougars Football Team.'...

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Many years of dreaming and searching
Will this be the year we finally stop hurting? 
I can't believe these words are coming from my mouth 
I...

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