Brother Funny Poems

Oh, Nothing! You sly, elusive spud,  
You’re the star of this poem (though technically dud).  
You haunt empty fridges, blank quizzes, and minds,...

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Born beautiful, bacon breath,
Beau, besides being boisterous,
basketcase boggles,
batty behavior,
bounds beyond boundaries,
brazen barking bravado,
bane of UPS drivers bringing boxes,
bowling bewildered brother canine bedfellows,
befriending beagles,
basking beside bashful...

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I snuck around the kitchen 
Hiding behind the walls
"NO STEALING PIE" mom had warned me 
But I won't listen, nothing wrong with having extra pie
So...

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Throughout my life dad and I have done many things together
graduating from Crayola, fishing and wiffleball
to tune-ups, casinos and funerals.

After one particularly salty funeral:
Dad and...

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From his mother’s womb
One February afternoon
and straight to the Situation Room
Hunter Biden, we presume.
His father, with his thoughtless clauses and pauses,
Captured the most prestigious of...

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My brother calls me "Hammer Head"
Cause I eat Nails !
My sister calls me "Tacky"
Cause I eat Nails !
My friends call me "Spike"
Just because I eat...

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     Stretched out,
     On a daycare cot.
     Told to take a nap,
 ...

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Do you know what it feels like when your dad leaves to go get the milk and comes back with a gun and some vengeance?
No?...

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He said he was Herbert Buttery
Born and bred in Woodley Edge
And was owner of a little business
Repurposing outdated  artificial legs.
They were a family of...

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Mu uncle Franklin
was a pro wrestler.
He lit up a room
like Nikola Tesla.

My aunt Judy
was a cake maker.
Her cakes were tall
like an LA Laker.

My brother Steve
played...

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The night was deep I could not sleep
The body was hot and so were my clothes
 With my mind in a whirl, I stretched out...

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We all have those notebooks
filled up to the top
of poems we started
but for some reason had to stop
But we never throw them away
into the trash...

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Love is the answer 
Love is what we need
Not the infatuation one 
But the unconditional one

The kind of love 
Where despite our differences
we can still...

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There on to you!!!
Your idiot brother
Hovered over a Starbucks,
Your sister was seen
Cruising Rodeo Drive.
And Uncle Henry
Got hold of a bottle
George W. Dickle
Tennessee Sippin’ Whiskey
…and you...

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This is based on a something that happened today,
Though I will not be able to provide a backstory,
Me and my brother fought with each other...

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