Beach Funny Poems

I wish I had a funny bone
One that was my very own and not cloned
And so I asked God one fine night
When the lights were...

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Grandpa snored loud by the fire,
Dreaming of treats he’d admire.
He woke with a yawn,
Found the cookies all gone—
Seems the dog’s now our chief cookie buyer!
...

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I check to see all that I need--
Some books and my favorite tweed--
Are all in their place,
My snacks in their case,
Now all I got to...

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Remove outer sleeve and packaging
Place in large oven proof dish
Ride dolphins perpendicular to the beach
Paint weightlessness with fluorescent paint
Season to taste and add thoughts provided
Bake...

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She says to clean my room. 
I promise, this afternoon. 
First, I need to eat lunch. 
So I make a bunch. 
Pizza, a sandwich too....

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Hunting is her game..
'Lady' is her name
Antics of a hilarious Basset hound!



Lady was home alone
All she had was her green plastic bone

Her owners had gone...

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up from the east
rose the sun for a feast
with the moon who was still up at dawn
the two for a banquet 
upon a tartan blanket
and...

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Cat sitting on his calm;
In a rocking chair knitting yarn;
While fish drinking coffee laced in yeast;
Yawning blowing bubbles on the beach; 

Dogs frying  bacon;
Caterpillars...

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Ocean the blue cat 
likes to suck on random toes 
taste the salty sweat 
 
...

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Loosening her two-piece in the sun
Gail rubbed sweet cream to tan, to have fun-
     With bod on a hilla
  ...

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Wet with sweat, the seaside called my name
Coastal waters taught me to proclaim
Gentle breeze on water
Sweating, getting hotter
Bikini came off, despite the shame!

...

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Pulling out my card.
Doesn’t seem too hard.
When I’m convinced of my wealth.
Despite new books on my shelf.
Despite sunglasses that are new.
I assumed by account was...

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A SONG THAT WILL ONLY MAKE SENSE 
                 ...

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Why do they say

you can't take money with you when you go?
So what do you do if you go out shopping?

The grass is 'always greener...

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Just like a slowly rolling tide
A jet trail sails across the sky
Drifting past the shell-shaped moon
A surreal moment gone too soon

It may not be the...

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