Best Tushy Poems

So You think the Toupee is Smart
An Orange little Toddler
Who Thought it was cool
To Hate People Who were Different
And Tweets without manners or rules

Where did He come from?
Who chose this crazy fool
Am I the only one that sees
Right is right and wrong is Trump

It is...

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(Froggy)
His  big crooked smile; the bump on his nose;
His extra large feet with short stubby toes.

Eyes sort of popping beneath eyebrows bushy;
A spare tire middle with such a small tushy!

His loud guitar music; his funny guffaw;
His love poems so cheesy that fill her with...

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Little Miss Muffet

             (Modern Version)

      Little Miss Muffit sat on her tushy
      Eating her curds and whey.
      A...

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Politician; “IT’S NOT MY FAULT,”
as someone digs another burial vault.
If people think the job is cushy,
they can kiss my oval sitting tushy.

Politician; “I’M NOT TO BLAME,”
we had to play this stupid war game.
Always send our best, look how well they fought,
just measure the freedom their...

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OVERWEIGHT HUSBAND:

Chubby
Hubby

FLABBY STOMACH:

Jelly
Belly

A WELL PADDED BOTTOM:

Cushy
Tushy

WINNIE THE POOH ON A DIET:

Skinny
Winnie...

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Whaat, whaat, whaat are you doing?
IT’S TIME TO GET OUT OF BED!!!
Buut, buut, oh, where was I?
Oh yeah, IT’S TIME TO GET OUT OF BED!!!

Hey chicky, nice tushy you got there.
Don’t run, don’t make me chase you, baby
I don’t bite!  Eh, eh, eh.
Oh by...

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Upon the first date (decades ago) with the gal,
whose troth aye did pledge allegiance to wed
we agreed to dine at an ex-mex eatery
in north Wales, Pennsylvania, where angels feared to tread
carefully scrutinizing bon appétit the menu selection, 
a touch of Latin lick QED

all American version...

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My somewhat outsize ears and longish neck 
(I swear exist, which contrary to popular myth 
never seen by living persons) support this egg shaped 
(fried or scrambled some might argue) head.

A mostly flat and hairless chest attests to a regular 
regimen of light (self-concocted) chest-pounding...

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aye savor the faire genetic blueprint 
   extant unique to each of us 
   with this quite alimentary aire 
   including (that almighty, 
   bottom, cushiony, dimpled, 

   excretory functioning Gluteus Maximus 
  ...

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Down you upside hanging
By me danger dangling by
Bellybutton unsweatering

You sprite! Grin giggling
At me look laughing at
Legs in blue jean wrapping

You and tree branch playing
Just me girl game watching just
Wrists undressing, lil' tushy out peaking

On you keep swing-a-linging
For me song singing for
Finger gifts wind-dancing

By magic kisses...

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There once was an individual known as theKidster.
the Kidster was an immature adult mister. 
The oldest of four younger sisters. 
Got my ass beat many times commin to the aid of my little sisters. 
Got my share of injuries, scars and blisters,
cause it's hard being...

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Inapropos trois faux pas jokingly blurted out...

yesterday August 30th, 2022.

The following fictitious account
predicated upon words spilling
out me mouth before taking time
to think through how sarcastic remark
would affect primary listener.

Comments about marital matters
particularly ours (yours truly and wife)
uttered in earshot of the missus
in company of a...

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Couched in the
     concept of a well,
     (which supplied the water
     for faded glory of "Glen Elm),"
     my boyhood abode,
another metaphorical attempt
     at writer's block...

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Just Now, I Started To Feel...
All Stopped Up With Writer's Block

Thus lack any idea about
     what to type out until aye
reach the end, and
     even then cannot
     make any promises (promises -
 ...

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While out and about
an unexpected over bare ring bout
to defecate arose,
     where sphincter asserted clout
and would excrete
     despite without doubt...

if closing distance
     (to reach rental abode)
beaten out by loosening sphincter muscle
  ...

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