Best Stylist Poems
With much trepidation I visited the local "hair stylist" today.
It was a "hair raising" experience as compared to barbers of yesterday!
'Twas thirty years since I'd heard the snip of a barber's shears,
Since my long-suffering wife had trimmed my hair for many years!
My hair had become somewhat bushy on the sides and nape,
So I needed her to thin it out and my sparse coiffure reshape!
I was the only guy there, suffering the ladies' intimidating gaze.
"Will this agony ever end?" I thought, for lack of a better phrase!
Displayed in her tidy shop were various creams, dyes and oils,
Plus a variety of glosses and shampoos to beautify the goils!
It took about five minutes for her to snip and groom my hair.
I paid eight bucks plus a paltry tip and scurried out of there!
Now, in the barber shops of old idled the usual jovial blokes,
As the barber recited a litany of the latest risque jokes.
On the walls he displayed posters of women scantily clad.
There was none of that in the "hair stylist's" shop to be had!
The barber shaved and powdered your neck among his amenities,
(After abiding rowdy razzing and very colorful profanities!")
You left his shop reeking of Vitalis and/or pungent bay of rum.
All of this for just six-bits - a nickel tip was the rule of thumb!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
we trim their hair, necks, noses, and mustaches too
They come on Saturday morning, when the mail is due
we hear their stories, they gossip about their farms and such
we like our regulars, and we hear so much!
only one gives us a tip we try to get him
The stylist grabbed her brat and ran out to her jeep
She had 2 energy drinks because she had no sleep
She dropped off brat in back and quickly shut the door
She came out and there was Miss Big one on the floor
Miss Big one got her name because she was so tall
Too many happy pills was what caused her to fall
She got up soon and said what you think about that
She sat down in her seat and took off her big hat
Stylist put big curlers all in big ones hair
She put on a mud pack, Miss Big one didn't care
In ran brat from outback yelling, "I started a fire!"
Smoke rolled under the door he was a little live wire!
Big one staggered up and hit her head on the door
Blood trickled down through the mud, it was some ghastly gore
Stylists' shop burned clear down now she works selling beer
Big one's now in "rehab" and brat just disappeared!