Best Professional Poems

Lawyer,
slippery snake,
white collar criminal,
mirror image of thievery,
serpent.



For John Heck's 12-In-1...Choose Your Forte! contest....

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Ted was a professional farter
and at his windy recitals he’d boast
that could even toot Moonlight Sonata
If his wife fed him baked beans on toast!

There was an annual farting competition
Held in downtown Chicago, (the ‘Windy City’)
Ted had pre-loaded his guts for the mission
To lose his title...

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After he was shot,
the doctor told her he would die,
he let her cry,
deep, heaving moans,
heart-wrenching groans,
pain that carried fear
beyond the realm of sorrow,
her son was certain to die by tomorrow,
the doctor hated himself during times like these,
she lost it as she fell to her knees,
cold,...

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Professional Poet Position 6992

For Professional Poet Position will apply;
So many of my poems started to supply;
Apprehensive,
And sensitive;
Had been horrible and me they did deny.

Jim Horn...

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I stare at all the stars in the sky 
Like everlasting snowflakes 
No two are alike  
I wonder what god was thinking  
 Maybe they are just his 
Guidance and comfort 
Seeping through 
I look all the trees 
Wonder how many can there...

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In late on a late night from a long journey,
Barely in the door 
She's telling funny stories of her own misfortunes.
The comedy of errors that harried her homewards.


The young woman who will always be our child
Has the lot of us laughing
When we should be asleep
At...

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A ballade I will now begin
Why do this form I now try
Surely no contest will I win
I can see already I will cry
Rarely am I a sensitive guy
Oh what will I possibly gain
Yet again asking myself why
From this form I’ll REFRAIN

Haha I used a humorous...

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I called a professional to help me in a task,
to lift and move out a lot of trash.
The room was full of heavy things,
and boxes of burdens that life brings.
I watched the man as he sifted through, 
tossing out years of clutter too.
Once in a...

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I can see it in your eyes 
your brain ticks over 
search supplies 
the lie with fall cover 
Because mother always used to say be aware of those around you 
their reaction to your actions giving clues how to act with them 

so I did...

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Basement full of odds and ends
in metal bits and comprehends
Glue and gumption, grease and grit
born from nimble hands of wit
Dimming evening, find him there
in the basement, light of care
winding ribbon through the glass
watching movies from the past
Tiny brushes, sticky paint
Clock strikes one, it's getting late
Dolls...

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Bruce Wayne is not alone in hating Superman. The United States government is none too pleased with the last son of Krypton leveling large parts of a major city. Lex Luthor, a wealthy businessman and scientist, also hates Superman. Now, you probably couldn’t quite figure...

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They complain in the morning because their night was a fright
They complain at noon because their school lunch was not right.
They complain to everyone who enters their sight
They complain and complain, long into the night.
 
At first these complainers are rather entertaining
They complain about their...

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If it’s the goal, he’ll leg up the mountain
in his mind, name and gain are all at stake
meet the need then bask in the fountain
make each low bite as fine as the seen cake
burn the heat to keep the face sustained
the ride to the top,...

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PANED REFLECTIONS

Here lies the glazier, Peter Lee
His wife is shattered, naturally!


LAST NIGHTS ON THE TILES

Alas poor Joe, I knew him well
He fixed my roof before he fell!


SNAKE IN THE GRASS

Here lie the bones of Jones the vet
Inside his boa constrictor pet!


HE KNEW HIS STUFF

Ted, ...

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He lied
He’d died!

Alan Abel faked his death and an obituary was published in the New York Times on 2nd January 1980, On January 3, 1980, he  held a press conference and said "reports of my demise have been grossly exaggerated".

DU-O your two line Poetry...

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