Best Drunk Poems

I drove home from a party one winters night
I'd had quite a few drinks but I felt alright
It was pouring rain as I approached our town
My girlfriend said to me, "John will you slow down" .

I turned up the volume of my favorite song
And pressed...

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With this napkin as my canvas
A word picture I paint
While he drowns out his sorrows
Until he finally faints

The best works he weaves
Are when unconsciously drunk
While sober and thinking
He writes only junk

While he flirts with the barmaid
Thinking about the sword in his pants
The sword in his...

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I once knew a woman called Terri
Who always was sipping the sherry
She got steaming drunk
And fell off her bunk
The medics described her as ‘merry’

WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON


20th October 2016


Still in her old knickers grinning
Until the room started spinning
Feeling not all right
Spent from a great night
Her...

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You see her giddy so you go and pour
Another cup of compliments so fine
She sees the letters swish and longs for more
The connoisseur, you know the best “word wine”

Your rhyme Chablis does best intoxicate
Her reason compromised, she leans on you
Your thirst for her tonight you’ll...

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Zero to a hundred
    Smoke between the ears
    An amygdala doing donuts
    Simply changing gears







*punch-drunk: Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy
  Punch Buggy: a game consisting of punching a person 
  when a VW Beetle is seen...

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Friends don't let friends drunk dial
or drunk text
for some reason when alcohol mixes into the bloodstream
it is like a "hit or miss"
some people get drunk or tipsy and want to fight and talk s%*#!
others have a sip of liquor or beer and everybody they encounter...

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Spiked Drinks Got Them All So Rolling Drunk

Universe spun out of control and died
The planets sputtered out and then fell
The southern boy liked his chicken fried
And preacher's young son rang the old church bell
Hope lost its heart and thus began to cry
The throng laughed away,...

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Dreaming drunk 
Teeth grind under the weight of 
Time;
An anomalous and vile passage 
I writhe in my own grime 
Feverish and mad, I cry to my demons
Hope they remember me 
Not as the shell to which I’ve been reduced
But a spirit, untouched, worth life
I have...

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I get up early, a rancher with chores
Hay grows in fields, animals shuffle, roars
Dawn breaks its steel grey grip on my land
And I, well, I have a clear bottle clutched in hand
The first swipe, the one that burns the most
Clears the head, lifts the fog,...

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Who be th' stenchin' verminous Horsman 
what hollers t' th' seafarin' oarsmen 
when th' mind's a-fog
where we fest th' grog 
why be d'mandin' pennin's of  bay men 

***All errors are intentional and used merely to facilitate pirate speak....

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He stumbled in, as drunk as sin
with a limp and a nose full of red
He ordered cheap gin, and the blood dripped in
As he raised the drink to his head

He sat on the stool,and the drops formed a pool
He could feel all the eyes on...

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~Someone is killed by a drunk driver every fifty-three minutes~

My true nightmare, I’m stuck and caught,
to not drink and drive I was taught-
But the fear I hold is dying
by someone else who’s drunk driving-
Crushed in a smashed up car, I fought.

I tell myself it’s not...

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It started with a drink I drank till drunk
when I started to wonder if I'd blink till blunk.

As I opened my eyes in a stink I stunk
and I started to think and thank till thunk.

Life beginning to sink, it sank till sunk.
I was feeling the...

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cat, death, dog, flower, nature, rain,
HAIKU 


It rained cats and dogs
My begonia bit the dust!
Dead-drunk begonia!...

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Submitted by: Buzz O'Words
Written: 3/3/14

Too much Viagra and beer.
My wife was out of town,
I hit every club around.
Each time I'd hope to find
A horny woman here.

Country Bob's was the last place that was open.
Near blind drunk and horny, I was still hopin'.
A pretty woman gave...

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