Best Bathroom Poems

I read it  from the bathroom wall.
God alone save's us one and all.
Along with other mixed obscenities like 
for a good time call.

Some read rise against.
Others read Elivis was here.
God bless America communist take fear.

Its the lost and found of  misspelled words 
were...

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Wicked Witches vicious Wishes
Worst of Curses Hexed
Paranormal Victim Witness
Poltergeist are Vexed
Rows of Sixes Superstitious
Sacred Scrolls and text
I see dishes fly malicious
And She is surely next.
Sold Her Soul and burnt the Bridges-
The Devils love Her Best!

*ABAB Witchcraft Contest Entry*

~JustThatArchaicPoet...

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My bathroom mirror amplifies
tired eyes and lines of discontent
a harsh reminder of the unfairness of life
and forces me to stare in the face
the cards I have been dealt but cannot change
I am not vain, but the bathroom mirror
believes that I am, prodding my esteem
with it's...

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I had to find a bathroom,
A reasonable request,
I was all alone
And my bladder was quite stressed.

So I asked a man nearby,
“Do you know where a bathroom is?”
He merely shook his head,
And went about his biz.

I continued walking,
And sure enough around,
A woman with her children
Could tell...

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Two o'clock she hits me hard 
I salute to another captain 
look around and swallow hard 

Not as hard as you leaving 
hitting me straight between the eyes 
stars spinning right after midnight 
can't remember exactly why 

Whispers filled the empty cauldron 
along with a...

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I learned to write poetry 
From those bathroom walls
I even learned about life
From them dirty old stalls

I think one was even written
By Mr Edgar Allan Poe
Wait!, that might have said
David Allan Coe

One poem that I found
Was scribbled in red
Of course I can't really repeat
What that...

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THE BATHROOM

I’ve got three older sisters,
Lindsey, Sue and Kate,
And every single morning,
They try to make me late.


They get into the bathroom,
And then they lock the door.
So I knock and knock with both my hands
Until they’re really sore.


They stay in there for hours!
I really don’t know...

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Poised to dive into the drink below
the deodorant on the shelf above put on a show
while the toothbrushes looked on with a big grin
the deodorant dove like a champ and took a swim,

The toothbrushes held up all their signs
most of them giving his dive a...

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Previously entitled: "Rules are Not Always Cool"

Silly Jilly could not break the rule:
Stay in class during tests at the school.
Soon each test-taking kid
could all smell what she did
in her pants! Rules are not always cool!

by Andrea Dietrich 
For PD's Pooping Contest:
Category: Don't ask to go...

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Apparently it’s a p**is that makes a man these days 
Never mind the testosterone that fuels an angry craze
A testosterone filled vag**a made of real human flesh 
Seems way better than an estrogen filled p**is in a dress
This muted feeble phalange is a danger to...

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Antonio a tenor's ring,
in the bathroom he would sing
Gilbert and Sullivan was his thing,
oft he'd sound this manly zing,
in the bathroom he would: sing!
all his music he would bring,
oft he'd sound; this manly zing!
the kitchen staff could hear him sing,
all his; music he would bring.
Gilbert...

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Here comes big Aunt Clara,
those arm pits really stink;
She uses all the paper,
leaves her dentures in the sink!

Wearing out her welcome,
attention's what she seeks;
For her to stay the night,
somehow becomes a week!

I can't go to the bathroom,
she's always locked inside;
Boy, I'm such a jerk,
when I'm...

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There was a man who went out late
And tried to rape a .38
He called women "receptacles"
'Til one blew off his testicles....

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Pine-Sol or bleach
cleaning the bathroom
which cleaner is for you?...

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The Bathroom Scales

By Elton Camp

There they are, just daring us to step on
And see which way our weight has gone

The bathroom mirror shows the sad fact
But the authority of a read-out it does lack

And while in there we are entirely out of luck
Ten pounds for...

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