Xiao Ling China Light

XIAO LING CHINA LIGHT Xiao Ling, did bring light into the shadows of my days, days living in the shallows of a love I could never get to know, for the one I loved so, could never show for more - once in a long while - then a moment, herself. Fear - I do believe - created this emotional Elf, who lives behind all the walls she has built, hut on the waters of life, foundation on stilt, high above the churning waters of life, never wanting to experience the lands of strife that sometimes, comes with being totally involved. The issues - the soul, the spirit - never to be resolved, knowing all the answers - that lie ahead - only residing with all that is inside her head. Xiao Ling, ( Natalie, my China Queen ) a natural Being, with you, one was never capable of reaching, of seeing beyond all the superficiality that came at me from your perception of reality. With you - never really - my Princess, I built many dreams. During the past two years, plus, it all fell apart at the seams. LOVE FROZEN IN TIME Oh how I loved you so. I could not find a way to let you go. Time and circumstance, lack of oxygen, the death for the flame of romance. A burning Ember, without much of a chance for me to get beyond our one and only dance. The fires of my long held desires, the flames of my suppressed passions - after two years of untold expenditure of energy - frozen in a time passed, the heart, the desire, the passion. All have become encrusted by icy crystals Lady Freeze, you have chosen to encapsulate my all, in. I look out, from within, and wonder ?, what was my sin, why ?, did she expect me to become like her, cold as ice, hard as stone, living life on the superficial, take and want, but never give, in deep and meaningful ways. I look into my feelings and wonder if I can give to Xiao Ling ?, anything more than the Princess, was willing to give to me. Has all the pain, all the disappointments the Princess created - from that palace - (an ice hut upon the north pole ?, upon the the south pole ?, upon the solar winds of deep space ?, ) - become the essence of this old man ? Will my heart, my passions, my love, my desires ever be able to melt the icy shroud they inhabit ?, can they find in - Xiao Ling, - the heat from a Son, that will ignite the embers into a full raging fire ? The question is - does Xiao Ling, even want to be the fuel that burns away, sets me free ? B. J. "A" 2 January 21st 2010 1 COMMENT Brendan said... I like reading your Poems. They are so raw, the angst of love can break a man. sometimes love is so strong it hurts more than any bodily pain.FEBURARY 24th 2010 - 2:23 am