Whisper

we keep away from the racket
street noise, huffing and puffing
to whisper intimately, a lilt of catchy
its weight of dandelions seeded
an ebb and flow of what others thinly imagine

we whisper a new kind of lyric
personalized
gratifying 
soft words of casual enticement
me finding her eyes that dart like Dagwood tumbles
whispers to remind her of our shared love of lines
like Picasso angles
or lines of pine trees in backlit light
as hawk wings tower their bladed lines of life

hushed words
crafted to startle and surprise
a certain feeling of time slowing
what could go wrong in whispers
like syrup on waffles?
our way to trace clues of pleasure
rich in concealment 
to fill our minds
with music at low volume
played within a world
as it is
pulling apart
tilted at us

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024



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Date: 12/25/2024 8:39:00 PM
This lovely, well-crafted poem draws the reader into the rich textures of intimacy. Well done!
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 12/26/2024 8:08:00 AM
Hi Thomas Thanks very much for your supportive remarks. I haven't posted new work for some time now. I cared for my mum as she died, then became ill myself, had surgery. No real motivation to write. Depression I suppose. Look after yourself. All the best. Thanks again.
Date: 11/26/2024 7:29:00 PM
Wonderful, brilliant poetry. Your words light with deep romantic enchantment. Enjoyed very much.
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 11/26/2024 9:09:00 PM
Thank you Joe for your encouraging words. Your message spurs me to write again. Much appreciated. Brian
Date: 8/22/2024 8:33:00 AM
I really like your style, and very memorable lines like "its weight of dandelions seeded an ebb and flow of what others thinly imagine". Very beautiful, can't wait to read more
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 8/22/2024 11:13:00 AM
Thank you very much for your thoughtful appraisal of my poem. I have taken a hiatus from writing to care for my aging mother, but I will return to posting eventually.
Date: 8/17/2024 10:02:00 PM
Awesome poem you've creatively crafted from your golden pen my dear poet friend. Thanks a lot for sharing. I loved and enjoyed it immensely. Blessings to you always and your writings. Hugs
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 8/18/2024 5:58:00 AM
Thank you very much for your supportive message, Len. I am contemplating a return to Poetry Soup, but for several weeks my mother's depleted health has consumed my attention. Be well. Best wishes, Brian
Date: 7/9/2024 9:54:00 PM
Keep writing Brian and we will keep reading. This is a metaphorical masterpiece. Cheers - Gary
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Gary Radice
Date: 7/10/2024 3:06:00 AM
If I had to give any advice Brian, it would be to take the contests just as a bit of fun. Don't judge how good your poems are by placements. Contests are not - and cannot ever be - a true reflection of one’s own work. Much of it is subjective. Every now and again I enjoy the ride but if I think my poem is going to be compromised by having to write to suit the judge’s tastes, style or form then I pass. (I tend to stick to my own style and just enter open contests that don’t have too many rules and - better still- those that allow old poems). Believe me when I say my placements over the last 5 years could write Cozy Powell’s 1974 UK hit here 100 plus times over..and if I tell you the title to that song is Na Na Na then I’m sure you get my drift. :). Write on Brian. PS - I’m half in and half out of a Poetry Soup sabbatical myself at the moment but still enjoying reading others’ work and mulling over ideas. Cheers - Gary
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 7/9/2024 10:06:00 PM
Hi Gary. Thank you for your kind words. This piece hit a number 3, far down the list of recognition. I am in the doldrums. Several ideas for poems but I struggle with this site. I hope that you are fit + still writing. I haven't gone exploring on PS in a considerable time. Be well. Best wishes. Brian (Post script - I responded to your subsequent note on Soup mail. Cheers.)
Date: 6/6/2024 9:36:00 AM
Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Meanwhile, I greet you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 6/6/2024 9:53:00 AM
Thank you, Beata. I hope that you are well. Best wishes, Brian
Date: 5/8/2024 8:02:00 PM
I dig the line "like Picasso angles". Nice verse. Thanks for sharing..............peace!
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 5/9/2024 10:51:00 AM
Thanks very much for your visit + message. Be well. Brian
Date: 4/28/2024 2:20:00 PM
Brian, you bring a lot of joy to those of us who like soft. It goes with good and careful listening, and as you point out, it's a break from the barrage of loud we have to deal with a bit too often.
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/28/2024 2:31:00 PM
Thank you, Duke, though you give me a lot of credit. Whispers have their own innate softness which presents a pleasurable exploration. I hope that all is well with you. Sincere good wishes, Brian
Date: 4/23/2024 4:53:00 AM
Brian, congratulations on your win in my contest with this wonderful poem, Constance
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/23/2024 9:37:00 AM
Thank you, Constance.
Date: 4/20/2024 3:32:00 PM
I love how this poem creatively employs the subtlety of natural images like "dandelions seeded" and "Dagwood tumbles whispers" to convey the tenderness of quiet intimacy. It is very well done. You won first place in my contest! Best wishes, Thomas
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/20/2024 4:17:00 PM
Greetings Thomas, Thanks very much for your words of encouragement. Yes, the poem was far down the contest recognition list. To me, the similes + metaphor have merit but then I am biased. The avoidance of commonplace language along with poetical devices are not deemed assets by all evaluators. At any rate, I still write + post but with more reluctance now. Thank you again. Be well. Brian
Date: 4/15/2024 3:29:00 AM
Fantastic writing, Brian. Congratulations on your winning placement! Hope all is well, my friend. Charlie
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/15/2024 5:13:00 AM
Thanks very much, Charles, for your congratulatory wishes. I am far down the recognition list but delighted you found this small entry. All the best, Brian
Date: 4/9/2024 12:22:00 PM
- " whispers like syrup on waffles" ... :))) - A lovely poem for the contest, Brian ... I wish you good luck :) - hugs
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Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/9/2024 2:04:00 PM
Greetings Anne-Lise, Thank you for your stop by and supportive comment. I hope that your pen flourishes in these fine days of spring. Best wishes, Brian
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