Home » Poems » Brian Sambourne » Whisper

Whisper

we keep away from the racket street noise, huffing and puffing to whisper intimately, a lilt of catchy its weight of dandelions seeded an ebb and flow of what others thinly imagine we whisper a new kind of lyric personalized gratifying soft words of casual enticement me finding her eyes that dart like Dagwood tumbles whispers to remind her of our shared love of lines like Picasso angles or lines of pine trees in backlit light as hawk wings tower their bladed lines of life hushed words crafted to startle and surprise a certain feeling of time slowing what could go wrong in whispers like syrup on waffles? our way to trace clues of pleasure rich in concealment to fill our minds with music at low volume played within a world as it is pulling apart tilted at us

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

B. Joseph Fitzsimons

Date: 8/22/2024 8:33:00 AM

I really like your style, and very memorable lines like "its weight of dandelions seeded an ebb and flow of what others thinly imagine". Very beautiful, can't wait to read more

Brian Sambourne
Date: 8/22/2024 11:13:00 AM

Thank you very much for your thoughtful appraisal of my poem. I have taken a hiatus from writing to care for my aging mother, but I will return to posting eventually.

Len Gasun

Date: 8/17/2024 10:02:00 PM

Awesome poem you've creatively crafted from your golden pen my dear poet friend. Thanks a lot for sharing. I loved and enjoyed it immensely. Blessings to you always and your writings. Hugs

Brian Sambourne
Date: 8/18/2024 5:58:00 AM

Thank you very much for your supportive message, Len. I am contemplating a return to Poetry Soup, but for several weeks my mother's depleted health has consumed my attention. Be well. Best wishes, Brian

Gary Radice

Date: 7/9/2024 9:54:00 PM

Keep writing Brian and we will keep reading. This is a metaphorical masterpiece. Cheers - Gary

Gary Radice
Date: 7/10/2024 3:06:00 AM

If I had to give any advice Brian, it would be to take the contests just as a bit of fun. Don't judge how good your poems are by placements. Contests are not - and cannot ever be - a true reflection of one’s own work. Much of it is subjective. Every now and again I enjoy the ride but if I think my poem is going to be compromised by having to write to suit the judge’s tastes, style or form then I pass. (I tend to stick to my own style and just enter open contests that don’t have too many rules and - better still- those that allow old poems). Believe me when I say my placements over the last 5 years could write Cozy Powell’s 1974 UK hit here 100 plus times over..and if I tell you the title to that song is Na Na Na then I’m sure you get my drift. :). Write on Brian. PS - I’m half in and half out of a Poetry Soup sabbatical myself at the moment but still enjoying reading others’ work and mulling over ideas. Cheers - Gary

Brian Sambourne
Date: 7/9/2024 10:06:00 PM

Hi Gary. Thank you for your kind words. This piece hit a number 3, far down the list of recognition. I am in the doldrums. Several ideas for poems but I struggle with this site. I hope that you are fit + still writing. I haven't gone exploring on PS in a considerable time. Be well. Best wishes. Brian (Post script - I responded to your subsequent note on Soup mail. Cheers.)

Beata Agustin

Date: 6/6/2024 9:36:00 AM

Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Meanwhile, I greet you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.

Brian Sambourne
Date: 6/6/2024 9:53:00 AM

Thank you, Beata. I hope that you are well. Best wishes, Brian

Ricky Muse

Date: 5/8/2024 8:02:00 PM

I dig the line "like Picasso angles". Nice verse. Thanks for sharing..............peace!

Brian Sambourne
Date: 5/9/2024 10:51:00 AM

Thanks very much for your visit + message. Be well. Brian

Duke Beaufort

Date: 4/28/2024 2:20:00 PM

Brian, you bring a lot of joy to those of us who like soft. It goes with good and careful listening, and as you point out, it's a break from the barrage of loud we have to deal with a bit too often.

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/28/2024 2:31:00 PM

Thank you, Duke, though you give me a lot of credit. Whispers have their own innate softness which presents a pleasurable exploration. I hope that all is well with you. Sincere good wishes, Brian

Mat Ignacio

Date: 4/28/2024 12:10:00 PM

beautifully and artfully conveyed -

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/28/2024 12:19:00 PM

Thank you, Mat, for your thoughtful, supportive note. I liked the poem though it did not do well in the contest. Contest avoidance can be good break from self questioning. Be well. Brian

Constance La France

Date: 4/23/2024 4:53:00 AM

Brian, congratulations on your win in my contest with this wonderful poem, Constance

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/23/2024 9:37:00 AM

Thank you, Constance.

Yolanda Nicholsen

Date: 4/22/2024 6:08:00 AM

Lovely poem here

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/22/2024 6:10:00 PM

Thanks very much, Yolanda, for your kind note. Best wishes, Brian

Thomas Wells

Date: 4/20/2024 3:32:00 PM

I love how this poem creatively employs the subtlety of natural images like "dandelions seeded" and "Dagwood tumbles whispers" to convey the tenderness of quiet intimacy. It is very well done. You won first place in my contest! Best wishes, Thomas

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/20/2024 4:17:00 PM

Greetings Thomas, Thanks very much for your words of encouragement. Yes, the poem was far down the contest recognition list. To me, the similes + metaphor have merit but then I am biased. The avoidance of commonplace language along with poetical devices are not deemed assets by all evaluators. At any rate, I still write + post but with more reluctance now. Thank you again. Be well. Brian

Charles Messina

Date: 4/15/2024 3:29:00 AM

Fantastic writing, Brian. Congratulations on your winning placement! Hope all is well, my friend. Charlie

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/15/2024 5:13:00 AM

Thanks very much, Charles, for your congratulatory wishes. I am far down the recognition list but delighted you found this small entry. All the best, Brian

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 4/9/2024 12:22:00 PM

- " whispers like syrup on waffles" ... :))) - A lovely poem for the contest, Brian ... I wish you good luck :) - hugs

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/9/2024 2:04:00 PM

Greetings Anne-Lise, Thank you for your stop by and supportive comment. I hope that your pen flourishes in these fine days of spring. Best wishes, Brian