Whats Up Doc

Bored out of my skull in my hospital bed You’ll be here for Christmas, the consultant said What happened next made me bubbly as Fanta Two nurses came in, they were dressed up as Santa My blood pressure took by a couple of flirts With very long legs and very short skirts One just bent over so it’s not surprising The other one told me my blood pressure’s rising You won’t need a Rabi, a priest or a vicar Ain’t nothing wrong with this fella’s ticker Its pounding away like Cozy Powell’s drums You don’t expect nurses to have shapely bums One licked her lips and... crikey, she’s winking What a good job she don’t know what I’m thinking Oh Lord, something’s happened just like I had feared I really could do with a full knee length beard There’s nothing gallant about what’s in my head With them in their scanty gear, ermine and red But I think they’ve guessed cos there ain’t no disguising The sweat on my brow and my temperature rising They sit on my bed and I smirk like I’m bolder The next thing I feel is a hand on my shoulder The Santas remain in the world of the sleepy In this world there’s matron... Not sexy Just creepy