Waking Up

could this be a dream? though im sure im awake im too hot to be cold im a genuine fake im alive and im dead but my breathing wont stop i was flying so high its been such a long drop im naively experienced and my walk is a run ive found that im lost life began and was done this brief moment of infinity is so intricately plain now that ive got it all together i feel im going insane im educated and ignorant making less out of more running swiftly behind just to even the score im so differently similar in this crowd all alone so confused by clear thinking in my soft heart of stone im in first place as im losing in this race standing still climbing higher on down falling further uphill ive been faithfully hopeless through these bright darkened days speeding behind the ahead getting rich with no pay do i question the answers? and let go t o hold on? growing stronger with weakness standing apart to belong my sure thing seems risky i must so gently be bold through this death i call life im too young to be old should i silently scream in this poor land of kings? succeding to fail blindly seeing all things being sane makes me crazy closing my eyes while i stare being simply complicated breathing deep with no air i must doubt the beliefs i have purged into my soul broadly narrowing the scars giving and taking their toll im creating destroyed feelings running fast to nowhere always praying as i sin passionately having no cares will i remember to forget the past thats right now? im guessing it is certain without a clue il know how the memories i wont think of will remain vividly unclear as i struggle to give in bravely living in fear may god chain me to freedom in my battle for peace as i stagger the straight line hoping my pain begins to cease