Use Exclamation Marks Sparingly

Exclamation marks rile up and excite Mrs. Ex. She teaches seventh grade English and always suspects…. We are overdoing it when we use even on. So I throw them in my paragraphs to have some fun. She says they should be rare and exclusive to execute. Her ideas are not mine, they simply do not compute. Loving these fine exclamation marks, I make with my pen, But she grades my papers, so a huge pickle I am in. She says, “Please use them sparingly! Better yet, not at all.” But what if I see a gigantic man-eating woman sixty feet tall? Or a monster devouring a grade school and a shopping mall? Mrs. Ex stares at me, in a kind of weird wordless stall. What if you only used this mark once a day? She suggests. Her suggestion annoys me, my pa and all of our guests. Of course, new exclamation marks are all over the things that I write. Infuriating out of Mrs. Ex, who ran away from her job last Tuesday night.