Troubled State of Mind

I feel somber and distressed. Life is unpredictable added with stress. And yet, at times; daily life is monotonous. Blithe indifference to anyones lewdness. Feeling dysphoric laden with despair. Trying to hang on; why should I care? Dancing with intrusive thoughts of a permanent end. Sinking in quicksand my mind slowly descends. Really there is no rhyme; or no reason.. For my state of mind; of its own treason. Fighting on the grounds of the "mental battlefield". Dropping my guard; defenseless without my shield. Taking another step in this muddle-headed land "mind". Unexplainably made me feel somewhat repined. Trapped in this existence and the next... Why does this "reality" have to be so perplexed? A troubled mind barters with trials and tribulations. Always wondering aimlessly full of unanswered questions.