To My Religion: Good-Bye Thoughts and Wishes

I was done Packed my bags Ran from the grasp Of Liars and Cons Considered myself lucky To know the truth And walk away Mostly intact No damage No harm No foul It’s funny the lies we tell To mitigate pain Only now as I unravel Myself from the knots that were tied Does the insidious truth Raise its sneaky head Were my choices even mine? Was every thought under your control? To make me like you To do what you say To believe as you believe And to have been placed At your mercy By those who were supposed to protect Is a bitter pill to swallow They did not know But I ask myself how did they not know When it was so plain to me Once I looked They were trained not to look And I guess they were better at not looking than me I guess I failed at not looking I like to think walking away was easy I do not give it a second thought On most days… Other days I realize That walking away was the easy part Living away Separate from the thing Is a much harder task Unwrapping everything I am Outside of what I was told to be Dissecting my actions and thoughts To eviscerate any trace of things that are not me Weeping when the letting go seems endless Rejoicing when it is freeing Running when it is overwhelming Cowering in fear when letting go means losing Losing family Losing promises Losing community Yet here I find myself decidedly unlost I am found In the deep places you never wanted me to know existed This joy is what you are afraid of If anyone felt this They would never settle for your imitation So today I will let go Of fear Of shame Of guilt Of the things you told me I would feel If I strayed from your path I stand With my feet on solid ground Built by my true heart and hands A foundation on which I can safely build The life I will design Some days I may look over my shoulder But not with regret for lost things With hope for a time that you will find yourself A horrid memory of the past A reminder of the worst parts of humanity That gradually faded in to the recesses of time Where you cannot hurt anyone ever again. I will smile I will play with my children The ones who will not be bound to you The ones who will be good without you The ones who will rise uncaged I will thank the tears And Doubts And Fears That led me away That opened the cage And set me free.